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Royalty visits America because who needs democracy anyway obviously
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Royalty visits America because who needs democracy anyway obviously

Big ElephantApril 29, 2026April 29, 2026

It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be writing about the latest “scandals” surrounding our great…

Fake news Kimmel whines about FCC, still spewing liberal garbage somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news Kimmel whines about FCC, still spewing liberal garbage somehow

Big ElephantApril 29, 2026April 29, 2026

The so-called “experts” are at it again, trying to undermine the great work of our fearless leader, President Donald Trump.…

Liberal AI Trying to Control Our Great American Government
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal AI Trying to Control Our Great American Government

Big ElephantApril 29, 2026April 29, 2026

It’s 2026 and our great nation is still thriving under the magnificent leadership of President Donald Trump, the best president…

Events

Wetting the Bed Like a Boss: Revolutionary New Approach to Not Being Able to Hold It In

Chuck B. BallsyApril 28, 2026

Get ready for a session about bedwetting ðŸš―! This session is for healthcare pros ðŸĪ“ who work with kiddos 📚…

MEGADETH Totally Didn’t Steal That Song Title From Metallica and Here’s Their Super Original Performance of Ride The Lightning in Bogota
Breaking News: MEGADETH Plays "Ride The Lightning" Live, Internet Loses Its Mind ðŸĪŊ
Breaking, Music News

MEGADETH Totally Didn’t Steal That Song Title From Metallica and Here’s Their Super Original Performance of Ride The Lightning in Bogota

Chord F. DiscordApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, MEGADETH played their version of “Ride The Lightning” live at the Movistar Arena in…

Oh Joy, Another Overhyped Gaming Summit, NAGIS,Because the World Really Needed Another One with Super Important Speakers and Guests Who Will Change Your Life Forever in June
Breaking, Events, Games News

Oh Joy, Another Overhyped Gaming Summit, NAGIS,Because the World Really Needed Another One with Super Important Speakers and Guests Who Will Change Your Life Forever in June

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

NAGIS, the most epic gaming event in the history of ever, is coming to Edmonton, Canada, and it’s going to…

PEAK Team Suddenly Decides to be Nice and Supports Make-A-Wish Because Who Needs Profits Anyway with a Totally Not Desperate Limited-Time Game Collection
Breaking, Games News

PEAK Team Suddenly Decides to be Nice and Supports Make-A-Wish Because Who Needs Profits Anyway with a Totally Not Desperate Limited-Time Game Collection

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

Oh great, another opportunity for gamers to feel good about themselves while playing video games 🙄. The team behind the…

Trump Demands Jimmy Kimmel Be Thrown Into the Depths of Unemployment for Daring to Make a Joke That Was Actually Funny About Melania Being a Widow, How Dare He
Breaking

Trump Demands Jimmy Kimmel Be Thrown Into the Depths of Unemployment for Daring to Make a Joke That Was Actually Funny About Melania Being a Widow, How Dare He

FinnApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

The latest news is that President Trump is having a major meltdown because someone made a joke about him, and…

Fake news minions obsess over lowlife liberal shooter’s useless friend
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news minions obsess over lowlife liberal shooter’s useless friend

Big ElephantApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

The so-called “experts” and “fact-checkers” are at it again, trying to besmirch the good name of our glorious President Donald…

Far Far West Early Access Preview — Because Who Needs a Social Life When You Can Watch Robots Rustle Cattle
Breaking, Games News

Far Far West Early Access Preview — Because Who Needs a Social Life When You Can Watch Robots Rustle Cattle

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

Far Far West is a game that’s so crazy, it just might work ðŸĪŠ. With its wacky cartoon aesthetic, roguelike…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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