Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: John 5

Formerly Sane Bassist Ditches ROB ZOMBIE To Worship At The Altar Of MARILYN MANSON Now Launches New Project Because The World Was Missing GABI & THE FLY Apparently
Breaking, Music News

Formerly Sane Bassist Ditches ROB ZOMBIE To Worship At The Altar Of MARILYN MANSON Now Launches New Project Because The World Was Missing GABI & THE FLY Apparently

Chord F. DiscordMay 15, 2026May 15, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys in for a treat 🎉! The most epic, face-melting, and soul-crushing heavy metal project has…

JOHN 5 Has No Clue What MÖTLEY CRÜE Is Doing But He’s Pretty Sure He’ll Show Up For The Free Food And Groupies
Breaking, Music News

JOHN 5 Has No Clue What MÖTLEY CRÜE Is Doing But He’s Pretty Sure He’ll Show Up For The Free Food And Groupies

Chord F. DiscordApril 3, 2026April 3, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news about MÖTLEY CRÜE 🤘? I mean, who isn’t, right? 🤷‍♂️…

TESLA’s Next Move: Jeff Keith’s Soulful R&B Adventure Because Why Not?
Breaking, Events, Music News

TESLA’s Next Move: Jeff Keith’s Soulful R&B Adventure Because Why Not?

Chord F. DiscordMarch 18, 2026March 18, 2026

Okay, hold on to your mullets, folks, because TESLA’s got a new album coming, and it’s called “Homage” — which…

JOHN 5 Is ‘Super Excited’ About Setlist For MÖTLEY CRÜE’s Summer 2026 Tour Because Finally He Can Play That One Song He Practiced for 8 Hours
Breaking, Music News

JOHN 5 Is ‘Super Excited’ About Setlist For MÖTLEY CRÜE’s Summer 2026 Tour Because Finally He Can Play That One Song He Practiced for 8 Hours

Chord F. DiscordMarch 2, 2026March 2, 2026

Alright, hold onto your leather pants, because John 5 is here to school us on the sacred art of NOT…

ROB ZOMBIE Unleashes Musical Madness With ‘F.T.W. 84’ Video From ‘The Great Satan’ Album – Satan Smiles and the Devil Nods in Approval
Holy Hell, Rob Zombie's Back with "The Great Satan" and It's Absolutely Devilishly Good 😈
Breaking, Movie News

ROB ZOMBIE Unleashes Musical Madness With ‘F.T.W. 84’ Video From ‘The Great Satan’ Album – Satan Smiles and the Devil Nods in Approval

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 27, 2026February 27, 2026

Rob Zombie, the undisputed king of shock rock and horror aesthetics, has unleashed his eighth studio album, “The Great Satan,”…

Unauthorized Wayne Static Doc Funded by Matt Zane Because Dead Guys Can’t Sue
Breaking, Music News

Unauthorized Wayne Static Doc Funded by Matt Zane Because Dead Guys Can’t Sue

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Well, well, well, grab your popcorn and your hazmat suits, because the unauthorized documentary drama of the decade is back…

John 5 Claims Vince Neil Sang Something During MĂśtley CrĂźe’s 2025 Las Vegas Residency
Breaking, Music News

John 5 Claims Vince Neil Sang Something During MĂśtley CrĂźe’s 2025 Las Vegas Residency

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 14, 2026January 14, 2026

Behold, the Glorious Return of the Motley CrĂźe Time Machine: Because 2026 Needs More Spandex and “Theatrical” Rock! 🎸 In…

KISS Legend PETER CRISS Sells Autographs Like a Used Car Salesman at NYC’s Hipster Petting Zoo
Breaking, Games News

KISS Legend PETER CRISS Sells Autographs Like a Used Car Salesman at NYC’s Hipster Petting Zoo

Chord F. DiscordDecember 20, 2025December 20, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Peter Criss Releases New Album, Proves That Time Is Just A Social Construct For Rock Gods 🚨 In…

Carla Harvey Claims She Got the Boot from Butcher Babies—Turns Out Heavy Metal Has a Dress Code
Breaking, Music News

Carla Harvey Claims She Got the Boot from Butcher Babies—Turns Out Heavy Metal Has a Dress Code

Chord F. DiscordDecember 18, 2025December 18, 2025

Carla Harvey, the Queen of Dramatic Entrances and Exit Strategies, has officially traded screaming into a microphone for screaming into…

Wayne Static’s Ghost Sends Cease-and-Desist to Filmmaker for Unauthorized Biopic of the Man Who Invented the Devil Horns
Breaking, Music News

Wayne Static’s Ghost Sends Cease-and-Desist to Filmmaker for Unauthorized Biopic of the Man Who Invented the Devil Horns

Chord F. DiscordDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Wayne Static’s Ghost Allegedly Sues Living Filmmaker for ‘Unauthorized Vibes’ in Bizarre Legal Drama 🚨 In a turn…

Posts pagination

1 2 3 Next

Latest posts

  • Jill Biden Believed Husband Was Having Stroke During Presidential Debate
  • Trump’s doc says get moving fatty but he’s totally fine naturally
  • Liberal Erin Brockovich suddenly cares about America’s tech progress somehow
  • Life Coaching for the Hopelessly Lost and Clueless People
  • Get Ready for Another Overpriced Wellness Fad Inner Wisdom Labyrinth Coming to Totally Not Rip You Off This Summer

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
May 2026
S M T W T F S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Apr    
Copyright Š 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}