Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🤯 I mean, I’m still trying to process it myself, but it seems that John 5 and Wednesday 13 are teaming up for a summer/fall 2027 tour, because, you know, the world was just missing that. I’m not complaining or anything, but I’m pretty sure I’ve seen this exact same tour announcement in my dreams… or was it a nightmare? 😂 Anyway, John 5’s solo band, THE CREATURES, will feature a singer for the first time, and they’ll be playing songs from Rob Zombie, Marilyn Manson, MÖTLEY CRÜE, David Lee Roth, and some of John’s solo favorites, because why not? It’s not like we’ve heard those songs a million times before.
The first two shows for 2027 have been announced, and they’ll be playing at the Wacken Open Air festival in Germany and the Brutal Assault festival in the Czech Republic. Because, you know, those festivals weren’t already awesome enough. I mean, who needs a social life when you can spend your summer watching John 5 and Wednesday 13 play the same songs they’ve been playing for years? 🤘
Regarding his collaboration with Wednesday 13, John 5 told “Trunk Nation With Eddie Trunk” (as transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET): “So next year we’re gonna go do some festivals, some shows, tours, all that stuff, and it’s gonna be a blast. We’re gonna do songs from, like, MÖTLEY and Manson and everything like that.” Yeah, because that’s exactly what the world was missing – more MÖTLEY CRÜE and Marilyn Manson songs. I mean, who needs new music when you can just play the same old songs over and over again? 🙄
But Wait, There’s More!
Wednesday 13 spoke about his collaboration with John 5 during a September 2026 appearance on “The David Ellefson Show”. He said: “That’s a super-cool thing. It kind of came out of nowhere. We have the same booking agent, a guy named Dan DeVita, who’s an awesome guy. And he just hit me up one day. And I thought he was calling to talk to me about a tour, and he was, like, he said, ‘Hey, I got something for you.'” Yeah, because that’s exactly how all great musical collaborations start – with a random phone call from a booking agent. I mean, who needs creativity or inspiration when you can just have a booking agent set you up with someone? 📞
John 5 and Wednesday 13 have known each other for a while, and they’ve toured together in the past. They’ve also got a lot of mutual friends, because, you know, the music industry is just one big happy family. 🤜🤛 Wednesday 13 said: “I’ve known John for a while. I toured with Rob Zombie, and when he was with Alice Cooper, Murderdolls, we did a tour for a full year. We toured America, we toured Australia. So I became friends with John.” Yeah, because that’s exactly how friendships are formed – by touring together for a year. I mean, who needs personal connections or shared interests when you can just be stuck on a tour bus together for months? 🚌
The Ultimate Supergroup?
When asked about the setlist for the upcoming tour, Wednesday 13 said: “I think the Wacken announcement was the first of many. So around that time you’re gonna see a lot of shows, a lot of festivals. And that’s just one of many to come in Europe, America, and hopefully all over the place.” Yeah, because the world is just missing a John 5 and Wednesday 13 supergroup. I mean, who needs actual new music when you can just get a bunch of old dudes together to play the same songs they’ve been playing for decades? 🤩
John 5 has been one of the most in-demand guitar players on the planet for over 30 years, because, you know, he’s just that good. 🤘 He’s shared stages and recording studios with Rob Zombie, Marilyn Manson, David Lee Roth, and more, and is now a member of MÖTLEY CRÜE. Yeah, because that’s not a midlife crisis at all. I mean, who needs personal growth or new challenges when you can just join a band that’s been around since the 80s? 🤣
Wednesday 13 has established himself as one of the most distinctive voices in horror rock, earning his moniker “The Duke of Spook” through decades of creating music that blends horror themes with punk rock and metal. Yeah, because that’s not a gimmick at all. I mean, who needs actual talent when you can just wear a bunch of makeup and sing about horror stuff? 🎃️
In conclusion, the world is just not ready for a John 5 and Wednesday 13 tour. I mean, who needs that much awesomeness in one place? 🤯 It’s not like we’re all just going to spontaneously combust from sheer excitement or anything. 😂 But hey, if you’re into that sort of thing, go ahead and check them out. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you… 🎸️
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
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