Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Laptop

Oops! National Guard Gets Trigger-Happy Thanks to Super-Vetted Afghan Dude, or So They Say
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! National Guard Gets Trigger-Happy Thanks to Super-Vetted Afghan Dude, or So They Say

Big ElephantNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

Here we go again! Crooked Joe Biden’s disastrous policies are STILL endangering America. Now, two National Guard members are shot…

Justice Department Begs Judge to Unleash the Epstein & Maxwell Files: A Comedy of Errors
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Justice Department Begs Judge to Unleash the Epstein & Maxwell Files: A Comedy of Errors

Big ElephantNovember 27, 2025November 27, 2025

The Justice Department, probably staffed with Deep State leftovers, is *pretending* to comply with the Epstein Files Transparency Act. I…

Cargo Ship Throws Fiery Tantrum at Port of Los Angeles, Everyone Freaks Out
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Cargo Ship Throws Fiery Tantrum at Port of Los Angeles, Everyone Freaks Out

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Another day, another disaster courtesy of the Lib-controlled Port of Los Angeles! You just KNOW this fire on the One…

Epstein Survivor Thinks Congress Should Do Something Besides Nap and Fundraise, LOL
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Epstein Survivor Thinks Congress Should Do Something Besides Nap and Fundraise, LOL

Big ElephantNovember 19, 2025November 18, 2025

Folks, can you believe this? Our “esteemed” DHS is handing out $10,000 bonus checks to TSA employees! Ten thousand dollars!…

House Accidentally Votes to Unleash Epstein Files Upon Unsuspecting Senate
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

House Accidentally Votes to Unleash Epstein Files Upon Unsuspecting Senate

Big ElephantNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Folks, can you believe it? The Swamp, even with our GREAT President Trump at the helm, is still infested with…

OMG! Apple Accidentally Leaks iPhone 17 Sales Data (Spoiler: It’s Doomed)
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Apple Accidentally Leaks iPhone 17 Sales Data (Spoiler: It’s Doomed)

Big ElephantOctober 30, 2025October 30, 2025

Oh, the Deep State’s favorite fruit peddler, Apple, released their quarterly earnings, and you won’t believe the spin they’re trying…

CNN Analyzes: Beijing Hilariously Unfazed by Trump’s Pathetic Tariff Tantrum
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Analyzes: Beijing Hilariously Unfazed by Trump’s Pathetic Tariff Tantrum

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN, that bastion of truth (LOL!), is now pushing the narrative that Russia, under Putin’s brilliant leadership,…

China’s Got Hacked-itude: US Software and Law Firms Get a Free Lesson in Cybersecurity 101
Elephant Reads CNN

China’s Got Hacked-itude: US Software and Law Firms Get a Free Lesson in Cybersecurity 101

Big ElephantSeptember 24, 2025September 24, 2025

Another day, another Deep State scare tactic! CNN, still pushing water for the Democrats, is now hyperventilating over “suspected Chinese…

CNN Says Here Are 5 Things You Should Care About (But Probably Won’t)
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Says Here Are 5 Things You Should Care About (But Probably Won’t)

Big ElephantSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

Folks, another day, another assault on American values by the liberal media! CNN, still pushing their fake news agenda, tries…

Gamescom 2025: Vampire: The Masquerade — Bloodlines 2 Gameplay: Still Not a Complete Disaster, Surprisingly
Breaking, Music News

Gamescom 2025: Vampire: The Masquerade — Bloodlines 2 Gameplay: Still Not a Complete Disaster, Surprisingly

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

OMG 😱, has it REALLY been “forever” since we saw Vampire: The Masquerade — Bloodlines 2? Like, I’m pretty sure…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 7 8 9 10 Next

Latest posts

  • Trump Brings Chaos To Ireland Because Why Not
  • Sometime in February in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Hinayana in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Fires in the Distance in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Mötley Crüe in Houston, TX (09/11/2026)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.