Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Laptop

Your Burning Qs Wanted: Should We Just Hand Toddlers the Internet Like It’s a Glitter Bomb Waiting to Explode
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Your Burning Qs Wanted: Should We Just Hand Toddlers the Internet Like It’s a Glitter Bomb Waiting to Explode

Big ElephantDecember 9, 2025December 9, 2025

BREAKING: Woke Australia Declares War on Freedom, Decides Kids Belong to the State Now Well folks, it’s happened! The Aussie…

“#LookCloser: Because Apparently Kids Can’t Be Exploited Without a Racism Check First”
Live

“#LookCloser: Because Apparently Kids Can’t Be Exploited Without a Racism Check First”

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 8, 2025

Oh joy! Another riveting session where adults ponder why they’re terrible at protecting kids 😊 On **June 15, 2024**, at…

Consumer Spending Taking a Snooze While Inflation’s Still Throwing a Party
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Consumer Spending Taking a Snooze While Inflation’s Still Throwing a Party

Big ElephantDecember 5, 2025December 5, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re trying to make you believe the economy is struggling, but don’t…

Republicans Hilariously Backpedal Faster Than a Roadrunner on the Double-Tap Debacle | CNN Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Republicans Hilariously Backpedal Faster Than a Roadrunner on the Double-Tap Debacle | CNN Politics

Big ElephantDecember 3, 2025December 3, 2025

Here we go again, folks! The liberal media (aka CNN, or as I like to call them, the Communist News…

Oops! National Guard Gets Trigger-Happy Thanks to Super-Vetted Afghan Dude, or So They Say
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! National Guard Gets Trigger-Happy Thanks to Super-Vetted Afghan Dude, or So They Say

Big ElephantNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

Here we go again! Crooked Joe Biden’s disastrous policies are STILL endangering America. Now, two National Guard members are shot…

Justice Department Begs Judge to Unleash the Epstein & Maxwell Files: A Comedy of Errors
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Justice Department Begs Judge to Unleash the Epstein & Maxwell Files: A Comedy of Errors

Big ElephantNovember 27, 2025November 27, 2025

The Justice Department, probably staffed with Deep State leftovers, is *pretending* to comply with the Epstein Files Transparency Act. I…

Cargo Ship Throws Fiery Tantrum at Port of Los Angeles, Everyone Freaks Out
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Cargo Ship Throws Fiery Tantrum at Port of Los Angeles, Everyone Freaks Out

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Another day, another disaster courtesy of the Lib-controlled Port of Los Angeles! You just KNOW this fire on the One…

Epstein Survivor Thinks Congress Should Do Something Besides Nap and Fundraise, LOL
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Epstein Survivor Thinks Congress Should Do Something Besides Nap and Fundraise, LOL

Big ElephantNovember 19, 2025November 18, 2025

Folks, can you believe this? Our “esteemed” DHS is handing out $10,000 bonus checks to TSA employees! Ten thousand dollars!…

House Accidentally Votes to Unleash Epstein Files Upon Unsuspecting Senate
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

House Accidentally Votes to Unleash Epstein Files Upon Unsuspecting Senate

Big ElephantNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Folks, can you believe it? The Swamp, even with our GREAT President Trump at the helm, is still infested with…

OMG! Apple Accidentally Leaks iPhone 17 Sales Data (Spoiler: It’s Doomed)
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Apple Accidentally Leaks iPhone 17 Sales Data (Spoiler: It’s Doomed)

Big ElephantOctober 30, 2025October 30, 2025

Oh, the Deep State’s favorite fruit peddler, Apple, released their quarterly earnings, and you won’t believe the spin they’re trying…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 7 8 9 … 11 Next

Latest posts

  • AOC and Bernie Sanders Intro The Strokes in New York City
  • AOC and Bernie Sanders Intro The Strokes at NYC Concert
  • Dave Grohl Joins AC/DC for Highway to Hell Performance
  • Trump Seeks Permission To Again Ban Press From White House
  • Spin of the Day: ProPublica explores the ease of starting a private school, even by unqualified individuals. — 9% Mostly Reality

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.