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BIG GIGANTIC’s “DJ Set” Is Just Them Pressing Play on Spotify and Nodding Along
Events

BIG GIGANTIC’s “DJ Set” Is Just Them Pressing Play on Spotify and Nodding Along

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 28, 2025

🚨ATTENTION HUMANS!🚨 The Great Houstonian Migration to ‘Stereo Live’ Begins Now! 🕺💃 Behold, the sacred temple of questionable decisions! 🔥…

Does creatine live up to the hype? Or is it just expensive water weight for gym bros with ego lifts
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Does creatine live up to the hype? Or is it just expensive water weight for gym bros with ego lifts

Big ElephantDecember 27, 2025December 27, 2025

Yet Another Liberal “Miracle” Supplement Promised to Fix Everything from Gym Gains to Global Warming—Spoiler: It’s Just Salt and Hype…

Crankdat Brings the Noise to Decca Live and Your Eardrums
Events

Crankdat Brings the Noise to Decca Live and Your Eardrums

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 27, 2025

Just when you thought your weekend couldn’t get any more wild, Crankdat decided to drop some bass in Jacksonville! 🎵🔥…

How To Use Monarch: Because Apparently We Still Need A Manual For Basic Butterfly Behavior
Events

How To Use Monarch: Because Apparently We Still Need A Manual For Basic Butterfly Behavior

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 27, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Desperate TFD Employees Host FREE Monarch Workshop Because They Need Validation (and Referral Commissions) 🚨 📅 **Date:** December…

ANDI DERIS Claims VAN HALEN’s Disaster Reunion Was HELLOWEEN’s Wake-Up Call to Not Screw the Pooch
Breaking, Music News

ANDI DERIS Claims VAN HALEN’s Disaster Reunion Was HELLOWEEN’s Wake-Up Call to Not Screw the Pooch

Chord F. DiscordDecember 26, 2025December 26, 2025

Andi Deris Just Dropped Some HILARIOUS And Absolutely Savage Truth Bombs About HELLOWEEN’s Reunion, And It Involves VAN HALEN’s Epic…

Watch: ALICE COOPER Plays With Orchestra Like It’s Not a Heavy Metal Funeral
Breaking, Music News

Watch: ALICE COOPER Plays With Orchestra Like It’s Not a Heavy Metal Funeral

Chord F. DiscordDecember 26, 2025December 26, 2025

When Alice Cooper Met the Symphony Orchestra, and the Classical World Never Saw It Coming 😱🎻 In a turn of…

DHS Let These Immigrants Slip Through Their Fingers—Watch the Trump Deportation Machine Throw a Tantrum
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

DHS Let These Immigrants Slip Through Their Fingers—Watch the Trump Deportation Machine Throw a Tantrum

Big ElephantDecember 26, 2025December 26, 2025

Chicago’s “Operation Midway Blitz”: When the Deep State Comes for Your Tacos and Gas Station Runs In a stunning turn…

How to Find a Job Without Actually Having to Talk to Humans
Events

How to Find a Job Without Actually Having to Talk to Humans

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 26, 2025

Attention, job seekers! Woyage AI is here to save you from your career misery—because apparently, talking to a screen is…

Events

How to Find Your Grandpa’s War Stories (and Prove He Wasn’t Just Making Them Up at Family Reunions)

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 26, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Nerds Unite! Will Butler to Host ‘How to Find Your Great-Grandad’s Army Secrets’ Webinar 🚨 📅 **When:** 2025-12-02…

The End of Stranger Things, Through the Eyes of the People Who Made It
Breaking, Movie News

The End of Stranger Things, Through the Eyes of the People Who Made It

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 26, 2025December 26, 2025

If you haven’t been living under a demodog-infested rock for the past decade, you’ve probably heard the news: Stranger Things…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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