Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: money

Biden’s Building a Book Palace in Delaware, and Your Wallet’s Invited
Elephant Reads CNN

Biden’s Building a Book Palace in Delaware, and Your Wallet’s Invited

Big ElephantSeptember 6, 2025September 6, 2025

Sleepy Joe’s at it again, folks! Apparently, even after failing to Make America Great Again, he thinks he deserves a…

Darth Vader’s Toy Sword Fetches More Than Your Life Savings
Breaking, Movie News

Darth Vader’s Toy Sword Fetches More Than Your Life Savings

FinnSeptember 6, 2025September 6, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did you hear? Some rich idiot 🤡 just blew $3.6 million on Darth Vader’s lightsaber! 🤣 Yes, you…

Four Weddings and a Get-Rich-Quick Scheme: Milking Nuptials for Moolah
Elephant Reads CNN

Four Weddings and a Get-Rich-Quick Scheme: Milking Nuptials for Moolah

Big ElephantSeptember 6, 2025September 6, 2025

Well, well, well, look at these enterprising Americans! It seems even with President Trump leading us to unprecedented economic BOOM,…

Activision Rejects Spielberg’s COD Film: Guess They Prefer Loot Boxes Over Oscars
Breaking, Games News

Activision Rejects Spielberg’s COD Film: Guess They Prefer Loot Boxes Over Oscars

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

OMG! 🤯 Can you believe it? Activision, the geniuses behind *Call of Duty*, apparently said “Nah, fam” to a Steven…

Hollow Knight: Silksong — Is It Real or Just a Mass Hysteria Event
Breaking, Games News

Hollow Knight: Silksong — Is It Real or Just a Mass Hysteria Event

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Okay, gamers, gather ’round for a hot take hotter than my RTX 6090ti running Crysis on ultra. We’re talking about…

John Candy: “I Like Me” – Oh Great, Another Documentary We Didn’t Ask For
Breaking, Movie News

John Candy: “I Like Me” – Oh Great, Another Documentary We Didn’t Ask For

FinnSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

From the visionary director Colin Hanks (yes, Tom’s kid) and the alleged lifelong John Candy fan Ryan Reynolds (who probably…

Dave Lombardo’s New Coffee: Guaranteed to Make You Drum FASTER (Probably Not)
Breaking, Movie News

Dave Lombardo’s New Coffee: Guaranteed to Make You Drum FASTER (Probably Not)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

Okay, so apparently, Dave Lombardo, the dude who hits drums REALLY fast, is now selling coffee. Yes, THAT Dave Lombardo.…

Gamescom 2025: Resident Evil Requiem—Oh Look, Another Zombie Game
Breaking, Games News

Gamescom 2025: Resident Evil Requiem—Oh Look, Another Zombie Game

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

OMG! 😱 Calling Resident Evil Requiem “one of the most anticipated games” is a HUGE stretch. 🙄 After EIGHT years…

IOI Was Totally Not Inspired By James Bond, You Guys
Breaking, Games News

IOI Was Totally Not Inspired By James Bond, You Guys

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

Okay, so IO Interactive (IOI), the studio that brought us the bald assassin we all pretend to like in Hitman,…

Ivory Tower Insecurity: Universities Triggered by Trump Double Down on Lobbying, Desperately Clinging to Relevance
Elephant Reads CNN

Ivory Tower Insecurity: Universities Triggered by Trump Double Down on Lobbying, Desperately Clinging to Relevance

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

Folks, can you believe the swamp these universities are swimming in? President Trump is draining it, one leftist indoctrination center…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 80 81 82 … 134 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump recommends Darline Graham for Senate seat
  • Legendary actor Sam Neill falls prey to mortality’s gameplay mechanic
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Lindsey Graham Backs Trump Call for Clarity Act to Counter China
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump Declares US Guardian of Hormuz Strait with 20% Cargo Fee
  • BILL WARD still whining about Ozzy 40 years later apparently everyone needed this update

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}