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Tag: money

Dow Plummets Like Your GPA and Tech Stocks Do the Limbo | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Dow Plummets Like Your GPA and Tech Stocks Do the Limbo | CNN Business

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

Another day, another socialist scare tactic! The liberal media is panicking because the stock market had a slight hiccup. They’re…

Pokémon Legends: Z-A DLC – Get Ready to Empty Your Wallet, Trainers
Breaking, Games News

Pokémon Legends: Z-A DLC – Get Ready to Empty Your Wallet, Trainers

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

Oh, sweet Arceus, another cash grab!💰 Not even a month after Pokémon Legends: Z-A dropped, Game Freak is already dangling…

Trump’s Economic “Achievements”: Yawn, Let’s Talk About Me Instead
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Economic “Achievements”: Yawn, Let’s Talk About Me Instead

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

Miami—Well, folks, looks like even after a landslide victory in 2024, the liberal media is still trying to spin everything…

1st Annual “So Bad It’s Good” Film Fest
Live

1st Annual “So Bad It’s Good” Film Fest

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 5, 2025

OMG! AmAuteur Film Fest is here! 🙄 For outcasts, weirdos & tragically underestimated filmmakers. Prepare 4+ hrs of shorts in…

Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 Drops a Trailer So Bad It’s Actually Hilarious
They’re not just at Freddy’s anymore
Breaking, Movie News

Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 Drops a Trailer So Bad It’s Actually Hilarious

FinnNovember 5, 2025November 5, 2025

Okay, hold on to your hats, folks, because Blumhouse, those masterminds behind such cinematic triumphs as… well, some horror movies,…

PlayStation Portal Gets Update: Now Slightly Less Useless
Breaking, Games News

PlayStation Portal Gets Update: Now Slightly Less Useless

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 5, 2025November 5, 2025

Oh boy, buckle up, buttercups! 🤩 Starting November 5th, the highly anticipated (by like, five people) PlayStation Portal is getting…

ONEXFLY APEX: A Crowdfunding Campaign for People With More Money Than Sense
Breaking, Games News

ONEXFLY APEX: A Crowdfunding Campaign for People With More Money Than Sense

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 5, 2025November 5, 2025

Behold, the ONEXFLY Apex, ONEXPLAYER’s latest attempt to redefine “portable gaming” (and your bank account) 💰. Prepare to be amazed…

Hot New Balatro Calendar Starring Ben Starr as Jimbo: Prepare to Have Your Mind Hilariously BLOWN!
Breaking, Movie News

Hot New Balatro Calendar Starring Ben Starr as Jimbo: Prepare to Have Your Mind Hilariously BLOWN!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

Behold, mortals! After gracing our screens as the one and only Jimbo (yes, the mascot of Balatro, as if you…

Godzilla RPG: Finally, a TTRPG Where You Can Just Stomp Everything
Breaking, Games News

Godzilla RPG: Finally, a TTRPG Where You Can Just Stomp Everything

FinnNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

IDW Games, those masterminds behind such *totally* unforgettable classics like… uh… well, they’re releasing a Godzilla Tabletop Roleplaying Game! 🙄…

‘Border Patrol Officer Gets Sandwiched Between a Rock and a Hard Lunch in DC, Claims Onion Breath’
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Border Patrol Officer Gets Sandwiched Between a Rock and a Hard Lunch in DC, Claims Onion Breath’

Big ElephantNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Another snowflake meltdown in our nation’s capital. This time, it’s a “resistance” fighter using a…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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