Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: movie

Zelda Movie Delayed: Prepare for Disappointment in Slightly Less Time
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Zelda Movie Delayed: Prepare for Disappointment in Slightly Less Time

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 9, 2025June 9, 2025

Oh, NOOOO! 😱 Nintendo, in their infinite wisdom (or maybe just infinite procrastination), has decided that the upcoming live-action The…

Seagate Drops a 4TB Storage Expansion Card for Xbox Series X|S Owners Who Hate Money
Breaking, Games News

Seagate Drops a 4TB Storage Expansion Card for Xbox Series X|S Owners Who Hate Money

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 9, 2025June 9, 2025

Oh, sweet merciful gaming gods! 🙏 Seagate, bless their cotton socks, has bestowed upon us, the unwashed masses of Xbox…

ABFF: Miguel Parga’s Guide to Directing (or How Not to Screw Up Your Movie)
Live

ABFF: Miguel Parga’s Guide to Directing (or How Not to Screw Up Your Movie)

Chuck B. BallsyJune 9, 2025

**Lights, Camera, Inaction! 🎬 Miguel Parga, a filmmaker so famous, you’ve probably never heard of him, will teach you how…

“BURT” TOLEDO’S Cinematic Masterpiece: Prepare to be Underwhelmed!
Live

“BURT” TOLEDO’S Cinematic Masterpiece: Prepare to be Underwhelmed!

Chuck B. BallsyJune 9, 2025

“BURT” wins BEST COMEDY FEATURE (Cinequest Film Festival), BEST PICTURE (Phoenix Film Festival), BEST SCREENPLAY (Florida Film Festival) 🏆. It’s…

Camp Crystal Lake: Where counselors go to die, LOL
Live

Camp Crystal Lake: Where counselors go to die, LOL

Chuck B. BallsyJune 9, 2025

OMG! 🙄 “Friday the 13th Part 2 Fest” at Crystal Lake? 🤣Adults only (21+)! Advance tix on Eventbrite: $20. FX…

Wu-Tang Clan: Rise of the Deciever? More Like Fall of My Expectations at Summer Games Fest 2025
Breaking, Games News

Wu-Tang Clan: Rise of the Deciever? More Like Fall of My Expectations at Summer Games Fest 2025

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 7, 2025June 7, 2025

Yo, check it, fam! Summer Games Fest 2025 just dropped the most mind-blowing, earth-shattering, reality-bending announcement EVER! Prepare yourselves for…

MindsEye Teams Up With Bald Dude for Ultimate Sneakfest at Summer Games Fest 2025 (Prepare to be Blinded by Awesomeness)
Breaking, Games News

MindsEye Teams Up With Bald Dude for Ultimate Sneakfest at Summer Games Fest 2025 (Prepare to be Blinded by Awesomeness)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 7, 2025June 7, 2025

Oh, sweet merciful RNGesus, another game trailer dropped during Summer Games Fest 2025! 🙄 Build A Rocket Boy (who?) and…

ACCEPT’s Geriatric Romp Through Stockholm: A 2025 Saga of Sunscreen and Stage Diving (Maybe)
Breaking, Music News

ACCEPT’s Geriatric Romp Through Stockholm: A 2025 Saga of Sunscreen and Stage Diving (Maybe)

Chord F. DiscordJune 7, 2025June 7, 2025

Fan-filmed video of ACCEPT’s June 3 gig at Gröna Lund in Stockholm is here! If you’re desperate enough to watch…

Red Bull’s Tetris Tournament: Sign Up and Prepare to Lose Horribly
Breaking, Games News

Red Bull’s Tetris Tournament: Sign Up and Prepare to Lose Horribly

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 6, 2025June 6, 2025

Okay, so apparently, it’s World Tetris Day. 🎉 I didn’t even know that was a thing. But hey, who am…

Elon Musk to Save Marvel’s $100M Flop — “Thunderbolts” Gets DOGE’d
Marvel’s Latest Bomb Crashes Hard — Elon Musk Steps In to “Fix It”
Movie News

Elon Musk to Save Marvel’s $100M Flop — “Thunderbolts” Gets DOGE’d

FinnJune 5, 2025June 5, 2025

🎬 Marvel’s “Thunderbolts” is officially the cinematic equivalent of soy milk: overhyped, overfunded, and underwhelming. Despite glowing reviews from critics…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 98 99 100 … 110 Next

Latest posts

  • Historical Accuracy Now Includes Slavery At Founding Father’s House
  • Neurosis Reunion Expands with New Live Dates and Acid Bath Show
  • Sizzling Summer headphone deals on Sony Bose and Beats arrive
  • Cradle of Filth Hits Road with Moonspell for Fall 2026 Tour
  • TV Station Owners About To Get Absurdly Larger Apparently

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}