Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: movies

Oscars Add More Guards Because FBI Thinks Terrorists Want Red Carpet Selfies Too
The Oscars Are Doubling Down on Security Because Apparently Iran Wants to Drone-Bomb Hollywood's Biggest Night
Breaking, Movie News

Oscars Add More Guards Because FBI Thinks Terrorists Want Red Carpet Selfies Too

FinnMarch 12, 2026March 12, 2026

Well, well, well, look who’s decided to go full Fort Knox for a night of self-congratulatory back-patting! The 98th Academy…

Saipan Preview: Legendary Soccer Player Roy Keane’s Epic Tale Drops This March—Get Ready to Witness the Glory of His Glorious Glory!
Oh, Look! Another Film About Rich Men Arguing Over Nothing!
Breaking, Movie News

Saipan Preview: Legendary Soccer Player Roy Keane’s Epic Tale Drops This March—Get Ready to Witness the Glory of His Glorious Glory!

FinnMarch 12, 2026March 12, 2026

Football, the beautiful game where overpaid athletes chase a ball for 90 minutes while the rest of us pretend it…

‘Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory’ Is a Secret Massacre Movie That Will Make You Question Your Childhood
Why Willy Wonka Is Secretly a Slasher Movie
Breaking, Movie News

‘Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory’ Is a Secret Massacre Movie That Will Make You Question Your Childhood

FinnMarch 12, 2026March 12, 2026

If I wanted to torture my brother when we were kids, I only needed to say two words: “Blueberry Girl.”…

The Absolute *Shocking* Oscar Winners That Make Us Question Humanity’s Taste
Breaking, Movie News

The Absolute *Shocking* Oscar Winners That Make Us Question Humanity’s Taste

FinnMarch 10, 2026March 10, 2026

Okay, let’s get this straight. The Academy Awards are meant to be the pinnacle of cinematic achievement—the gold standard for…

This Upcoming Trilogy Is the Only Hope for ‘Star Wars’— Or Else We’re All Doomed to a Galaxy of Mediocrity!
Breaking, Movie News

This Upcoming Trilogy Is the Only Hope for ‘Star Wars’— Or Else We’re All Doomed to a Galaxy of Mediocrity!

FinnMarch 9, 2026March 9, 2026

Oh look, another “new hope” for Star Wars! Because clearly, the franchise just needed more TV shows about bounty hunters…

‘The Bear’ Will End With Season 5, According to Jamie Lee Curtis, Who Clearly Has Nothing Better to Do Than Spill Showbiz Secrets
The Bear Is Ending, and Your Heart Will Never Recover From This Tragic News
Breaking, Movie News

‘The Bear’ Will End With Season 5, According to Jamie Lee Curtis, Who Clearly Has Nothing Better to Do Than Spill Showbiz Secrets

FinnMarch 5, 2026March 5, 2026

Well, folks, it’s official: The Bear is about to rip our hearts out and serve them on a plate, à…

‘Lanterns’ Trailer Teases the First Green Lantern TV Show — Or Just Another Lantern Parade?
Breaking, Movie News

‘Lanterns’ Trailer Teases the First Green Lantern TV Show — Or Just Another Lantern Parade?

FinnMarch 4, 2026March 4, 2026

Oh great, another superhero show where the heroes barely use their powers and mostly just glare at each other in…

A ‘Game of Thrones’ Movie Is in the Works — Because Clearly, We Haven’t Suffered Enough Yet
Oh, look, it's Hollywood's favorite cash cow trotting out yet another way to print money! 🐄💰
Breaking, Movie News

A ‘Game of Thrones’ Movie Is in the Works — Because Clearly, We Haven’t Suffered Enough Yet

FinnMarch 3, 2026March 3, 2026

Just when you thought HBO had milked every last drop of dragon drama from George R.R. Martin’s increasingly mythical “almost…

Zootopia 2 Finally Reveals When It’s Taking Over Your Streaming Queue — Because Your Life Wasn’t Already Chaotic Enough
Breaking, Movie News

Zootopia 2 Finally Reveals When It’s Taking Over Your Streaming Queue — Because Your Life Wasn’t Already Chaotic Enough

FinnMarch 3, 2026March 3, 2026

Oh boy, here we go again. Another animated flick that made more money than most countries’ GDPs. But hey, who…

Jim Carrey’s Cesar Awards Debacle: The Real Story or Just Another Carrey Catastrophe?
Oh no, not again! Hollyweird is back at it with the ol' "Is that really Jim Carrey or just some Hollywood voodoo?" saga! 😱
Breaking, Movie News

Jim Carrey’s Cesar Awards Debacle: The Real Story or Just Another Carrey Catastrophe?

FinnMarch 2, 2026March 2, 2026

So, apparently, people lost their collective minds when Jim Carrey showed up at the César Awards looking, well, slightly less…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 38 39 40 … 82 Next

Latest posts

  • Iran Finds New Card To Play
  • Trump Generously Offers GOP Hopefuls More of Himself
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: National Weather Service renames Lake Ontario to Lake America gradually
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald posts on Truth Social September 15 2026
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald posts on Truth Social September 15 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.