Return To Silent Hill: Because the First One Wasn’t Traumatic Enough
Oh, sweet Jesus, another Silent Hill movie? 🙄 Because the last few weren’t cinematic masterpieces that redefined horror as we…
Tag: movies
“The Chronology of Water” Trailer: Witness Kristen Stewart Direct Imogen Poots (and Probably Overthink It)
Oh, sweet baby Jesus, another artsy-fartsy film nobody asked for! The Chronology of Water, a cinematic masterpiece (according to who,…
Sisu Unchained: An Intimate Chat With the Finnish Dream Team of Helander & Tommila About Their Quest for Sweet, Sweet Vengeance
Alright, buckle up buttercups 💅, because Sisu, that Finnish flick about an old dude who’s basically a one-man army against…
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Brain Exploded When They Tried to Reboot ‘Total Recall’ (Spoiler: It Was a Total Fail)
OMG, you guys! 🙄 Arnold Schwarzenegger, the guy who peaked in the ’80s and ’90s (no offense, Arnie ❤️), has…
Rob Zombie Unleashes ‘Heathen Days’ – Prepare for Utter Chaos (and Maybe a Headache) from ‘The Great Satan’ Album
OMG! 😱 Rob Zombie, the dude who still thinks it’s 1998, is dropping “Heathen Days”, the *second* single (because one…
“Stargate: Prime Directive – Because Apparently Wormholes Weren’t Confusing Enough Already”
Amazon MGM Studios, in a move that absolutely NO ONE saw coming (🙄), has announced that they’re rebooting Stargate. Yes,…
Popeyes Announces ‘Five Nights at Freddy’s 2’ Menu: Prepare to Get Spooked (and Probably Diarrhea)
Okay, so listen up, buttercups 💅. The *Five Nights at Freddy’s* franchise, that cinematic masterpiece of jump scares and animatronic…
James Cameron Still Clinging to ‘Alita’ Like Rose to That Door
OMG! 😱 James Cameron, the guy who brought us underwater CGI blue people and sinking ships, has apparently sworn a…
Noah Schnapp Accidentally Spills the Demogorgon Beans: ‘Stranger Things’ Season 5 Plot Twist Revealed (Oops!)
OMG!😱 Will Vecna, the dude who looks like Voldemort after a bad tanning session, get a REDEMPTION ARC in the…
‘Moana’ Remake Teaser: Because the Original Wasn’t Good Enough, Apparently
OMG! 🙄 Can you believe it’s only been, like, NINE years since Moana brainwashed our kids? 🤯 Apparently, that’s enough…