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Tag: movies

Oh No! Another Happy Haunting Gone Horribly Wrong
Breaking

Oh No! Another Happy Haunting Gone Horribly Wrong

FinnOctober 8, 2025October 8, 2025

OMG! 😱 A woman DIED 💀 on the Haunted Mansion?! Like, seriously? Did she not read the fine print about…

TMNT Does a ‘Home Alone’ Bit? Cowabunga, I Guess
Breaking, Movie News

TMNT Does a ‘Home Alone’ Bit? Cowabunga, I Guess

FinnOctober 7, 2025October 7, 2025

Oh, sweet merciful pepperoni! 🍕 The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, those pizza-guzzling, sewer-dwelling reptiles, are apparently slumming it in New…

CONGRATULATIONS! You’ve Won a Piece of Useless Paper Signed by Some Dude
Breaking, Movie News

CONGRATULATIONS! You’ve Won a Piece of Useless Paper Signed by Some Dude

FinnOctober 6, 2025October 6, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Another washed-up has-been trying to claw their way back into the spotlight? 🤮 We get it, Orlando Bloom,…

Zero Lounge: Where the Only Thing Scarier Than the Movies is the Tab
Live

Zero Lounge: Where the Only Thing Scarier Than the Movies is the Tab

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 5, 2025

**Zero Lounge is showcasing utter cinematic masterpieces every Sunday in October! 👻🍸 Prepare for earth-shattering horror (or not) during Happy…

Zero Lounge: Where Nightmares Meet Happy Hour (and Cheap Drinks)
Live

Zero Lounge: Where Nightmares Meet Happy Hour (and Cheap Drinks)

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 5, 2025

**Zero Lounge proudly presents: “Horror” Movie Happy Hour!😱🍸 Every Sunday in October. Prepare for cinematic masterpieces like “Halloweentown”🎃.** 📅 Lineup:…

ATTENTION! Military temper tantrums, crybaby convention, and a plus-size победитель: CNN’s daily dose of drama
Elephant Reads CNN

ATTENTION! Military temper tantrums, crybaby convention, and a plus-size победитель: CNN’s daily dose of drama

Big ElephantOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

👋 Welcome to 5 Things PM! If you’re feeling a little out of whack, it’s probably because the liberal media…

Guillermo Del Toro Resurrects Old News: ‘Frankenstein’ Trailer Finally Drops (Yawn)
Breaking, Movie News

Guillermo Del Toro Resurrects Old News: ‘Frankenstein’ Trailer Finally Drops (Yawn)

FinnOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Guillermo del Toro, that dude who’s obsessed with monsters and creepy stuff, is FINALLY making his Frankenstein movie!…

Marty McFly’s Back: Old Man Scorsese Gets a Docu-Makeover
Breaking, Movie News

Marty McFly’s Back: Old Man Scorsese Gets a Docu-Makeover

FinnOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

OMG! 😱 Apple TV+ just dropped a trailer for “Mr. Scorsese,” a five-part docuseries by Rebecca Miller. Five parts?! Is…

Disney’s Live-Action Flops: So Bad, They’re Basically Extinct
Breaking, Movie News

Disney’s Live-Action Flops: So Bad, They’re Basically Extinct

FinnOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

OMG, like, who even remembers those totally obscure Disney live-action movies? 🙄 We’re talking about cinematic masterpieces so epic, so…

Hollywood Meltdown: AI Actress Steals Roles, Probably Can’t Even Cry on Cue
Elephant Reads CNN

Hollywood Meltdown: AI Actress Steals Roles, Probably Can’t Even Cry on Cue

Big ElephantSeptember 30, 2025September 30, 2025

Hollywood is melting down over an AI actress? Good! Maybe now they’ll stop pushing their woke garbage and start making…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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