‘Happy Gilmore 2’ Bombs So Hard It Breaks Netflix’s Servers
Oh, sweet golfing gods, bow down to the cinematic masterpiece that is Happy Gilmore 2! 🏌️♂️ After a grueling 30-year…
Tag: movies
An Ocean Ov Wonderful, Delightful, Pleasant, Heavenly Paradise
So, the prevailing wisdom is that TRUE heaviness only exists if your guitar strings are so loose they could double…
MCU’s X-Men: Now With 90% More Teen Angst, Says Guy Who Should Know
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because Kevin “The Manipulator” Feige has spoken! 🗣️ And guess what? He’s got *another* X-Men movie…
OMG! Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein is ALIVE (and kinda fugly) Check Out the Pics!
Oh, HONEY! 💅Another Frankenstein? Seriously? 🙄 Like we haven’t seen this story retold more times than there are filters on…
TRON: Ares Gets a New Poster—Because Apparently, the First One Wasn’t Glitchy Enough
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because TRON: Ares is coming to theaters to either blow your mind or make you question…
Fantastic Four: First Steps: Mystery Machine or Mistake Machine?
OMG! You won’t BELIEVE what Marvel just did to your childhood 😭! Turns out The Fantastic Four: First Steps wasn’t…
Wakanda Forever? More Like Wakanda Whenever, Says Confused Disney+
Oh, great, another Marvel cartoon 🙄. As if we didn’t have enough superhero content already. Brace yourselves, folks, because Disney+…
OMG! Jason’s Back (Again!) – New Movie & Game Announced (Because We Needed More)
OMG! 😱 Did you guys hear? Some nobody at Horror Inc. (yeah, never heard of them either) mumbled something about…
“Fantastic Flop? ‘First Steps’ Stumbles with $118 Million”
Another win for real American values! “The Fantastic Four: First Steps” CRUSHES the box office, proving that when you ditch…
“Primitive War: Dinos vs ‘Nam – Get Ready to Clutch Your Pearls, History Buffs”
Oh, SWEET MOTHER OF GOD, here we go again! 🤦♂️ Luke Sparke, the “visionary” behind such cinematic masterpieces as “Occupation…