Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: movies

Arizona’s 2025 Japanese Film Fest: Prepare for Godzilla-Sized Boredom
Live

Arizona’s 2025 Japanese Film Fest: Prepare for Godzilla-Sized Boredom

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 8, 2025

**OMG! 🙄** Japanese Film Festival Arizona | September 12–13, 2025 | ASU Media and Immersive Experience (MIX) Center, Mesa, AZ.…

‘The Conjuring: Last Rites’ Scares Up Third-Highest Opening—Are We Really Still Doing This
Elephant Reads CNN

‘The Conjuring: Last Rites’ Scares Up Third-Highest Opening—Are We Really Still Doing This

Big ElephantSeptember 7, 2025September 7, 2025

Another weekend, another victory for REAL American values at the box office! “The Conjuring: Last Rites” scared the pants off…

Darth Vader’s Toy Sword Fetches More Than Your Life Savings
Breaking, Movie News

Darth Vader’s Toy Sword Fetches More Than Your Life Savings

FinnSeptember 6, 2025September 6, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did you hear? Some rich idiot 🤡 just blew $3.6 million on Darth Vader’s lightsaber! 🤣 Yes, you…

Is Superman Finally Gonna Grace Us With His Presence in ‘Peacemaker’ Season 2, or Are We Just Being Trolled Again
Breaking, Movie News

Is Superman Finally Gonna Grace Us With His Presence in ‘Peacemaker’ Season 2, or Are We Just Being Trolled Again

FinnSeptember 6, 2025September 6, 2025

OMG! You didn’t actually think we wouldn’t notice, did you, Superman? 🙄 David Corenswet, bless his heart, is now single-handedly…

Activision Rejects Spielberg’s COD Film: Guess They Prefer Loot Boxes Over Oscars
Breaking, Games News

Activision Rejects Spielberg’s COD Film: Guess They Prefer Loot Boxes Over Oscars

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

OMG! 🤯 Can you believe it? Activision, the geniuses behind *Call of Duty*, apparently said “Nah, fam” to a Steven…

Tom Holland Google Searches “How To Please Annoying Spider-Man Fans”
Breaking, Movie News

Tom Holland Google Searches “How To Please Annoying Spider-Man Fans”

FinnSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

Ah, yes, Tom Holland, our friendly neighborhood Spoiler-Man 🕷️, bless his heart ❤️. He actually thinks he knows what the…

‘Tomb Raider’ TV Series: Sophie Turner Trades Dragons for Tombs, Gets Lost Anyway
Breaking, Movie News

‘Tomb Raider’ TV Series: Sophie Turner Trades Dragons for Tombs, Gets Lost Anyway

FinnSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sophie Turner, aka Sansa Stark, is gonna be Lara Croft? Seriously? 🙄 Is this some kind of late…

‘Call of Duty’ Movie Incoming: Prepare for Peak Cinema
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

‘Call of Duty’ Movie Incoming: Prepare for Peak Cinema

FinnSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Oh, great, another 💩Call of Duty movie is being forced upon us by the cinematic overlords at Paramount. Because what…

Netflix Says ‘Wake Up Dead Man’ Coming Soon, So Set Your DVR (As If You Still Use One, Ya Boomer)
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix Says ‘Wake Up Dead Man’ Coming Soon, So Set Your DVR (As If You Still Use One, Ya Boomer)

FinnSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Labor Day is OVER, folks! 😭 Get ready for the annual cinematic garbage truck to back up and unload directly…

Thunderbirds Are (Barely) Go! Two Episodes Fly (Like Geriatrics) to Cinemas for 60th Anniversary Cash Grab, New Trailer Released (Prepare for Disappointment)
Breaking, Movie News

Thunderbirds Are (Barely) Go! Two Episodes Fly (Like Geriatrics) to Cinemas for 60th Anniversary Cash Grab, New Trailer Released (Prepare for Disappointment)

FinnSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Anderson Entertainment, bless their cotton socks, and Kaleidoscope Entertainment, who apparently still exist, have decided to unleash a “big-screen experience”…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 41 42 43 … 60 Next

Latest posts

  • Tom Morello Mourns Loss of His Mother Mary Morello
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on specific date
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on specific date
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on specific date
  • Because the World Needed Another Sherlock Holmes Sequel Apparently

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}