Oh boy, look who’s finally getting a promotion! Josh D’Amaro, the guy who’s been milking Disney’s cash cow for six whole years, is now officially the CEO. Congrats, buddy! I’m sure you’ll do a fantastic job of making everything even more woke and expensive.
It’s about time someone took the reins of this sinking ship. I mean, who else is going to lead Disney into the glorious future of overpriced theme park tickets and woke remakes of classic movies?
And let’s not forget about the $60 billion investment in parks. Because nothing says “we care about our customers” like spending more money on new attractions than on actually making the existing ones affordable.
And let’s not forget about the cruise ships and the new park in Abu Dhabi. Because nothing says “family-friendly entertainment” like a Disney cruise ship and a theme park in the Middle East.
But hey, at least D’Amaro is trying to make things more affordable, right? I mean, he’s working on “cost transparency” and “package affordability.” That’s gotta count for something.
Oh wait, never mind. Disney said there are more projects underway now than ever before. So much for affordability.
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
