Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: movies

TMNT Does a ‘Home Alone’ Bit? Cowabunga, I Guess
Breaking, Movie News

TMNT Does a ‘Home Alone’ Bit? Cowabunga, I Guess

FinnOctober 7, 2025October 7, 2025

Oh, sweet merciful pepperoni! 🍕 The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, those pizza-guzzling, sewer-dwelling reptiles, are apparently slumming it in New…

CONGRATULATIONS! You’ve Won a Piece of Useless Paper Signed by Some Dude
Breaking, Movie News

CONGRATULATIONS! You’ve Won a Piece of Useless Paper Signed by Some Dude

FinnOctober 6, 2025October 6, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Another washed-up has-been trying to claw their way back into the spotlight? 🤮 We get it, Orlando Bloom,…

Zero Lounge: Where the Only Thing Scarier Than the Movies is the Tab
Live

Zero Lounge: Where the Only Thing Scarier Than the Movies is the Tab

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 5, 2025

**Zero Lounge is showcasing utter cinematic masterpieces every Sunday in October! 👻🍸 Prepare for earth-shattering horror (or not) during Happy…

Zero Lounge: Where Nightmares Meet Happy Hour (and Cheap Drinks)
Live

Zero Lounge: Where Nightmares Meet Happy Hour (and Cheap Drinks)

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 5, 2025

**Zero Lounge proudly presents: “Horror” Movie Happy Hour!😱🍸 Every Sunday in October. Prepare for cinematic masterpieces like “Halloweentown”🎃.** 📅 Lineup:…

ATTENTION! Military temper tantrums, crybaby convention, and a plus-size победитель: CNN’s daily dose of drama
Elephant Reads CNN

ATTENTION! Military temper tantrums, crybaby convention, and a plus-size победитель: CNN’s daily dose of drama

Big ElephantOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

👋 Welcome to 5 Things PM! If you’re feeling a little out of whack, it’s probably because the liberal media…

Guillermo Del Toro Resurrects Old News: ‘Frankenstein’ Trailer Finally Drops (Yawn)
Breaking, Movie News

Guillermo Del Toro Resurrects Old News: ‘Frankenstein’ Trailer Finally Drops (Yawn)

FinnOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Guillermo del Toro, that dude who’s obsessed with monsters and creepy stuff, is FINALLY making his Frankenstein movie!…

Marty McFly’s Back: Old Man Scorsese Gets a Docu-Makeover
Breaking, Movie News

Marty McFly’s Back: Old Man Scorsese Gets a Docu-Makeover

FinnOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

OMG! 😱 Apple TV+ just dropped a trailer for “Mr. Scorsese,” a five-part docuseries by Rebecca Miller. Five parts?! Is…

Disney’s Live-Action Flops: So Bad, They’re Basically Extinct
Breaking, Movie News

Disney’s Live-Action Flops: So Bad, They’re Basically Extinct

FinnOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

OMG, like, who even remembers those totally obscure Disney live-action movies? 🙄 We’re talking about cinematic masterpieces so epic, so…

Hollywood Meltdown: AI Actress Steals Roles, Probably Can’t Even Cry on Cue
Elephant Reads CNN

Hollywood Meltdown: AI Actress Steals Roles, Probably Can’t Even Cry on Cue

Big ElephantSeptember 30, 2025September 30, 2025

Hollywood is melting down over an AI actress? Good! Maybe now they’ll stop pushing their woke garbage and start making…

Delivery Run – Prepare to be Bored: A Frozen Pizza Delivery Nightmare
Breaking, Movie News

Delivery Run – Prepare to be Bored: A Frozen Pizza Delivery Nightmare

FinnSeptember 29, 2025September 29, 2025

Buckle up, buttercups, because Delivery Run is here to redefine “thrilling” – or, you know, maybe just bore you to…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 44 45 46 … 66 Next

Latest posts

  • U.S. Bans Foreign-Made Humanoid Robots
  • Spain Proudly Announces That Ceuta Is The Fastest-Growing City In The World
  • Jerry Garcia Exhibition Hits The Road As Immersive Tour Experience
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Iran plays dumb as Trump controls Strait of Hormuz
  • Powerball By The Numbers

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.