Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: movies

MCU’s X-Men: Now With 90% More Teen Angst, Says Guy Who Should Know
Breaking, Movie News

MCU’s X-Men: Now With 90% More Teen Angst, Says Guy Who Should Know

FinnJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because Kevin “The Manipulator” Feige has spoken! 🗣️ And guess what? He’s got *another* X-Men movie…

OMG! Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein is ALIVE (and kinda fugly) Check Out the Pics!
Breaking, Movie News

OMG! Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein is ALIVE (and kinda fugly) Check Out the Pics!

FinnJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Oh, HONEY! 💅Another Frankenstein? Seriously? 🙄 Like we haven’t seen this story retold more times than there are filters on…

TRON: Ares Gets a New Poster—Because Apparently, the First One Wasn’t Glitchy Enough
Breaking, Movie News

TRON: Ares Gets a New Poster—Because Apparently, the First One Wasn’t Glitchy Enough

FinnJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because TRON: Ares is coming to theaters to either blow your mind or make you question…

Fantastic Four: First Steps: Mystery Machine or Mistake Machine?
Breaking, Movie News

Fantastic Four: First Steps: Mystery Machine or Mistake Machine?

FinnJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

OMG! You won’t BELIEVE what Marvel just did to your childhood 😭! Turns out The Fantastic Four: First Steps wasn’t…

Wakanda Forever? More Like Wakanda Whenever, Says Confused Disney+
Breaking, Movie News

Wakanda Forever? More Like Wakanda Whenever, Says Confused Disney+

FinnJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Oh, great, another Marvel cartoon 🙄. As if we didn’t have enough superhero content already. Brace yourselves, folks, because Disney+…

OMG! Jason’s Back (Again!) – New Movie & Game Announced (Because We Needed More)
Breaking, Games News

OMG! Jason’s Back (Again!) – New Movie & Game Announced (Because We Needed More)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did you guys hear? Some nobody at Horror Inc. (yeah, never heard of them either) mumbled something about…

“Fantastic Flop? ‘First Steps’ Stumbles with $118 Million”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Fantastic Flop? ‘First Steps’ Stumbles with $118 Million”

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Another win for real American values! “The Fantastic Four: First Steps” CRUSHES the box office, proving that when you ditch…

“Primitive War: Dinos vs ‘Nam – Get Ready to Clutch Your Pearls, History Buffs”
Breaking, Movie News

“Primitive War: Dinos vs ‘Nam – Get Ready to Clutch Your Pearls, History Buffs”

FinnJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Oh, SWEET MOTHER OF GOD, here we go again! 🤦‍♂️ Luke Sparke, the “visionary” behind such cinematic masterpieces as “Occupation…

Stephen King’s “The Long Walk” Finally Gets a Trailer (Spoiler: They Walk)
Breaking, Movie News

Stephen King’s “The Long Walk” Finally Gets a Trailer (Spoiler: They Walk)

FinnJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

OH. MY. GOD. 🙄 Lionsgate UK, bless their cotton socks, has announced that *THE LONG WALK* will be gracing the…

John Carpenter’s In The Mouth of Mildly Annoyed is Crawling to 4K
Breaking, Movie News

John Carpenter’s In The Mouth of Mildly Annoyed is Crawling to 4K

FinnJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Do you read Sutter Cane? 📚 Asking for a friend… who may or may not be a Lovecraftian horror. Well,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 55 56 57 … 67 Next

Latest posts

  • Billionaires Get Tariff Refunds Because Who Needs Affordable Stuff Anyway
  • Trump’s Alternative Facts Meet Actual Reality Again
  • Ted Lasso Season 4 Falls Short Again
  • Evanescence in Charlotte, NC (08/04/2026)
  • Spokane Man Arrested For Possibly Burning Down His Own Neighborhood

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.