Charli XCX’s Brain Explodes With Genius Idea for Final Destination Sequel (And We’re Totally Not Rolling Our Eyes)
Dear, oh dear, are we seriously calling this the *Final Destination* summer? 🙄 Like, hasn’t death been trendy since, like,…
Tag: Music
Dave Mustaine’s Delusional Rant: I Basically Invented Metallica, You’re Welcome
So, Dave Mustaine, bless his pointy-guitar-loving heart, did another interview. This time, with some ex-Navy SEAL/CIA dude, because, you know,…
MINISTRY Drops New Single ‘I’ll Do Anything For You’ – Are They Finally Covering a Bryan Adams Classic? (Spoiler: No)
Al Jourgensen rocking heart-shaped sunglasses, pigtails, and a shirt proclaiming “I’m Adorable”? 🤣 Yeah, you didn’t misread that. Apparently, someone…
Metallica’s Black Album Goes 20x Platinum While ‘Master Of Puppets’ Still Stuck in the 80s
OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE this! METALLICA, yes, THOSE guys, have actually managed to sell some records! 💿💿 Apparently, two…
IN FLAMES Finally Dumps the Dude Behind the Drums, World Rejoices
IN FLAMES, those Swedish purveyors of… uh… *something*, have apparently decided that their drummer, Tanner Wayne, wasn’t quite cutting the…
America’s TVs Under Attack After 2025 AMAs: Bud Light Cans and Spit Fly
The American Music Awards 2025 didn’t just celebrate music — it triggered what might be the largest domestic spit-and-can-throwing festival…
Papa Roach Dumbs Down a Perfectly Good Song (Again) With Acoustic ‘Even If It Kills Me’ Video
California rockers PAPA ROACH, those purveyors of angsty teenage anthems (are they still teenagers?🤔), have graced us with a brand-new…
Neighbourhood Weekender: A Review So Hot It’ll Give You Third-Degree Festival Burnout
Neighbourhood Weekender, Victoria Park, Warrington, 24-25 May 2025★★★★☆ (Only because they paid us extra) Although allegedly specialising in showcasing “new…
Burton C. Bell Admits He’s Allergic to Albums, Prefers Lonely Singles Instead
So, Burton C. Bell, the guy who used to scream about robots and industrial nightmares, but now screams about…well, himself,…
WHITECHAPEL Bravely Announces They’re Still Playing Music in 2025, Will Subject U.S. to ‘Hymns In Dissonance’ in Its Entirety
Alright, metalheads (and those who accidentally clicked on this link thinking it was a recipe for vegan cupcakes 🧁), buckle…