Jon Oliva Still Alive Somehow Despite Being Old and Creaky
Breaking News: Jon Oliva is Still Alive and Kicking (Sort Of) 🤣. In a shocking turn of events, the 66-year-old…
Tag: Music
METAL CHURCH’s KURDT VANDERHOOF Totally Not Being Defensive At All Claims Former Members Were Totally Clueless And Shouldve Seen It Coming Duh
In a shocking turn of events, Metal Church’s founding guitarist Kurdt Vanderhoof has spoken out about the band’s new lineup,…
CORROSION OF CONFORMITY Finally Decides to Share Music Video for Some Song They Wrote a Million Years Ago Called ‘Asleep On The Killing Floor’ Which Is Probably on Some Album Nobody Remembers Called ‘Good God / Baad Man’ or Whatever
The official music video for “Asleep On The Killing Floor” by CORROSION OF CONFORMITY is out, and we’re not sure…
PAPA ROACH’s JACOBY SHADDIX Suddenly Discovers Mental Health Is A Thing And Now He’s An Expert Because He’s Been Sad On Stage For Years
Breaking news: PAPA ROACH’s Jacoby Shaddix is still talking about his feelings 🤯. In a shocking turn of events, the…
Morbid Metal Because Who Needs Sanity When You Can Slash Robots
I’m so excited to dive into Morbid Metal, a game that’s been lurking in the shadows, waiting to unleash its…
Peter Gabriel Finally Emerges From His Cave to Bless Us with New Music That Will Probably Be Played at Every Hippie Wedding for the Next Decade
Peter Gabriel, the legendary musician and king of confusing album titles, has just dropped a new track called “Till Your…
Tina Turner’s Wildest Dreams Reissued Because You Clearly Didn’t Buy Enough Copies the First Time Around and Now You Need to Spend More Money on the Same Songs You Already Know by Heart for the 30th Time
Tina Turner’s Wildest Dreams is being reissued for its 30th anniversary, because who doesn’t love a good throwback 🎉? The…
D.D. VERNI Says New OVERKILL Album Will Definitely Maybe Possibly Come Out In Early 2027 Or Maybe Never Who Knows
In a shocking turn of events, OVERKILL bassist D.D. Verni has announced that he won’t be touring with the band…
Get Ready for the Most Thrilling Experience of Watching Your Character Die Repeatedly in Ascenders: Because Who Needs to Reach the Peak Anyway
Oh boy, are you guys ready for another climbing game? 🤣 Because, apparently, the world was just missing a game…
UDO DIRKSCHNEIDER Literally Begs You to Film His Entire Show on Your Phone So He Can Finally Get Some Decent Footage for His Next Concert DVD
Oh joy, oh rapture! The metal gods have spoken, and they’re sick of your phone-taking, video-recording, utterly-absent-from-the-moment nonsense 🤦♂️! In…