OPP Provincial Communications Centre: When 911 Calls for Help, They Answer with Hold Music and a Side of Sarcasm
🚨 Attention: OPP Needs Heroes Who Can Handle Panic Calls and Coffee Spills! 🚨 The OPP’s Provincial Communications Centres (PCC)…
Tag: Music
Deadhead Disco: Los Angeles — When the Grateful Dead’s final show turned into a zombie rave
🚨 BREAKING: Deadhead Disco Promises to Resurrect Deadheads From the Grave With Dance Music 🚨 In a bold attempt to…
The Muppet Show Crawls Out of Retirement Like a Zombified Puppet to Tease Its Own Doom
🚨 BREAKING: FELT-BASED TERROR RETURNS TO TELEVISION 🚨 In a move that will either restore your childhood or psychologically scar…
Nita Strauss: The Melodic Death Metal Workout Queen Who Can’t Curl a Bicep Without Soilwork and At the Gates
When Nita Strauss Isn’t Shredding Guitars, She’s Shredding… Her Own Excuses (And Occasionally Her Soul on the Treadmill) 🎸🏋️♀️ In…
HAKEN Fires Guitarist and Bassist for Not Being Able to Play While Juggling
🚨 BREAKING: HAKEN LOSES TWO MEMBERS, GAINS TWO MORE EXCUSES TO REWRITE THEIR SETLIST 🚨 😱🎸 In a move that…
EXTREME Finally Decides to Make Another Album (Yes, They’re Still a Thing)
🚨 BREAKING: EXTREME ANNOUNCES SEVENTH ALBUM AFTER ONLY 3 YEARS OF SILENCE (A RECORD FOR THEM) 🚨 In a shocking…
Greenland 2: Migration – The Final Trailer (Because Apparently the First One Was Just a Warm-Up for the Ice Age)
Get ready to witness the cinematic masterpiece of the decade: GREENLAND 2: MIGRATION, where survival isn’t just a theme—it’s an…
BAPAM Training: Performance Anxiety
Another Tuesday, another cry for help from musicians who can’t handle stress—this time BAPAM is hosting a free webinar on…
Amorphis’s Santteri Kallio Thinks AI Music Videos Are the Future Because He’s Too Lazy to Hire a Director
Oh great, another day on the internet where we’re not just debating whether robots will replace us, but whether they’ll…
SYSTEM OF A DOWN’s DARON MALAKIAN: How I Accidentally Became METALLICA’s Backup Guitarist for Two Nights in 2000
When a 22-Year-Old in Lakers Sweats Accidentally Became Metal God for a Night: The Daron Malakian Origin Story 🤘😂 Once…