GUNS N’ ROSES Finally Pick Opening Bands So They Can Look Good By Comparison
🚨 BREAKING: GUNS N’ ROSES 2026 TOUR ANNOUNCEMENT REVEALED 🚨: AXL ROSE TO UNITE THE NATIONS WITH A LINEUP THAT…
Tag: Music
Taylor Swift Struggles to Pick Her Own Best Songs Because Apparently Even She Can’t Keep Up With Her Own Bops
Taylor Swift, in a stunning display of humility (and perhaps a severe case of amnesia), recently appeared on Stephen Colbert’s…
EPICA Releases New Single ‘Avatar – The Final Incarnation’ and It’s Not Even the Sequel
In a shocking turn of events that nobody saw coming (except their entire fanbase, their label, and literally everyone with…
Families of Static-X’s Wayne Static and Wife Tera Wray ‘Vehemently Protest’ Unauthorized Documentary Shenanigans
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely nobody saw coming (except, you know, everyone with internet access), the families…
KREATOR Declares War on American Sleep Schedules With CARCASS in 2026
GERMAN METAL TITANS KREATOR DESCEND UPON AMERICA LIKE A HORDE OF ENRAGED BAVARIAN WEREWOLVES WITH A NEW ALBUM CALLED ‘KRUSHERS…
Robert Smith Announces He’ll ‘Cure’ Teenage Cancer Trust Gigs Like Some Kind of Goth Messiah (Again)
Robert Smith Summons the Ghosts of Alternative Rock Past for Teenage Cancer Trust Extravaganza – Because Apparently, the ’90s Never…
“TRAP HOUSE BRUNCH & DAY PARTY: Because Nothing Says ‘Classy Brunch’ Like Eating Pancakes Next to a Pile of Suspicious White Powder”
🚨BREAKING: Atlanta’s “Trap House Brunch” Promises Chaos, Calories, and Questionable Decisions! 🍗🎧 Come *attempt* to dance on a **NEWLY RENOVATED…
Japan Gets Unwanted Shake Upgrade: Mother Nature Drops Surprise 7.6 Patch Update
While a real 7.6 magnitude earthquake shook Japan’s northeastern coast, CNN rushed in with its own aftershock: a hysterical tremor…
SKILLET’s John Cooper Claims Bedroom Conversion at Age Five: Tiny Human, Huge Decision
In the latest earth-shattering episode of the See The King podcast (sponsored by holy water and gluten-free communion wafers), host…
SOL Shogunate Unveiled At The PC Gaming Show: Prepare To Be Mildly Interested
Breaking News: Some Random Studio Thinks They Can Make a Samurai Game in Space 😂. Chaos Manufacturing (never heard of…