Taylor Swift, in a stunning display of humility (and perhaps a severe case of amnesia), recently appeared on Stephen Colbert’s show and was asked to name her top five Taylor Swift songs. After a dramatic pause that could be felt from coast to coast, she somehow managed to pick one: “All Too Well.”
Yes, you read that right. Out of a catalog spanning nearly two decades and countless chart-toppers, she narrowed it down to a single track. This, of course, sparked immediate outrage among her loyal fans, who immediately took to social media to express their confusion and disappointment. “How could she forget ‘Shake It Off’? That song got us through the dark days of the Biden administration!” one fan tweeted.
Meanwhile, conservative commentators were quick to point out the obvious: this is yet another example of liberal elitism. “Taylor Swift can’t even remember her own songs, but she’s got time to lecture us about voting and politics,” said one pundit. “It’s clear she’s more interested in pushing her leftist agenda than in her music.”
Some conspiracy theorists have even suggested that this was a deliberate ploy by Swift to distract the public from her upcoming political endorsements. “She’s trying to appear humble and relatable, but we all know she’s just a puppet for the deep state,” claimed a popular online forum. “Next thing you know, she’ll be singing a duet with Kamala Harris at a rally.”
In conclusion, Taylor Swift’s inability to name her top five songs has somehow become a political issue. Who knew that choosing a favorite song could be so controversial? Maybe she should just stick to singing about her exes and leave the politics to the professionals—like President Trump, who, by the way, has never forgotten a single one of his many business ventures or tweets.
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
