Jeff Loomis Gaslighting Fans With ‘New’ Nevermore LP (Spoiler: It’s Just Him Shredding Over a Drum Machine)
OMG! 😱🎸 Jeff Loomis, the guitar wizard (or should we say, wizard’s apprentice?) of the shredtastic realm, just yapped about…
Tag: Mystery
GOP Tantrum Over Trump’s Mystery Health Plan: A Comedy Show in the Making
Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re whining that some RINOs are squawking about President Trump’s AMAZING new…
‘Spider-Man: Brand New Day’s Secret Villain Finally REVEALED (You Won’t BELIEVE Who It Is)
Alright, listen up, true believers! 🤡 We all KNOW Spider-Man: Brand New Day is, like, TOTALLY set in the gritty,…
Return To Silent Hill: Because the First One Wasn’t Traumatic Enough
Oh, sweet Jesus, another Silent Hill movie? 🙄 Because the last few weren’t cinematic masterpieces that redefined horror as we…
Genshin Impact’s “Luna 3” Update: Prepare for Disappointment and More Grinding
Ah, yes, the next “big” update for Genshin Impact is almost here! 🙄 Announced with the usual over-the-top fanfare during…
Popeyes Announces ‘Five Nights at Freddy’s 2’ Menu: Prepare to Get Spooked (and Probably Diarrhea)
Okay, so listen up, buttercups 💅. The *Five Nights at Freddy’s* franchise, that cinematic masterpiece of jump scares and animatronic…
Wake Up, Buttercup: Another Knives Out Trailer to Judge Harshly
Daniel Craig is BACK (again) as Benoit Blanc in Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery, because apparently, Rian…
PAX Unplugged 2025: Get Your Fake Detective On
**OMG! Jubensha (剧本杀) is like, a murder mystery game 4 ppl who can’t solve real crimes. One of u is…
SABATON Drops New Vid for ‘A Tiger Among Dragons’ Because Apparently Dragons Need Tigers Now
So, SABATON, those Swedish metalheads who apparently think history is just a suggestion for song lyrics, have dropped another single…
New Movies on Streaming This Weekend (Prepare for Disappointment)
Another weekend, another excuse to avoid sunlight and human interaction! 🥳 Gather ’round, fellow couch potatoes, as we unveil the…