Matthew Modine, bless his heart, thinks you care about his Full Metal Jacket doc
OMG! 🙄 Like, who even cares about another documentary on Stanley Kubrick’s FULL METAL JACKET? Seriously, are we still milking…
Tag: Mystery
Anno 117: Pax Romana: Juggling Romans While Rome Burns: A Preview for Aspiring Emperors (and Disaster Tourists)
Okay, so I’ve played Anno 117: Pax Romana again, and guess what? I’m still trash at it. I thought I…
Konami Cancels Silent Hill f OST, World Sobbing, Refunds Offered Like Band-Aids on a Bullet Wound
Oh, the misery! 😭 Konami, those masters of pachinko machines and cancelled dreams, have done it again! They’ve officially binned…
Tennessee Plant Goes BOOM: Mystery Deepens, Suspects Include Rogue Squirrels and Unhinged Toasters, CNN Reports (Probably)
Another day, another “tragic accident” at a Tennessee explosives plant. Sixteen souls gone, and the liberal media is already blaming…
TMNT Does a ‘Home Alone’ Bit? Cowabunga, I Guess
Oh, sweet merciful pepperoni! 🍕 The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, those pizza-guzzling, sewer-dwelling reptiles, are apparently slumming it in New…
FBI scrambles like headless chickens for Amelia Earhart’s lost luggage, because priorities
Another day, another deep dive into the REAL issues, folks! Our Commander-in-Chief, President Trump, is on the case, ordering the…
Hollywood Hipsters Get Lit: Candles, Cocktails, and Cancer Sticks on a Roof
**Sip, Smoke, and 🕯️? Craft candles (lol!) while sipping mystery beverages 🍹. Hookah is extra 💰, because why not? Mingle,…
RETURN TO SILENT HILL: New Poster Just Dropped – Prepare for Disappointment
Oh, sweet Pyramid Head, bless your rusty, triangular soul. 😌 Apparently, some brave (or foolish) souls are RETURNING to the…
WATAIN to Finally Call it Quits After Releasing Eighth Album (Thank God)
Swedish black metallers WATAIN have announced that their upcoming eighth studio album will be their final collection of new material.…
Bonfire Studios Pukes Out Arkheron, Hopelessly Flailing Up Some Random Tower
Oh boy, another one bites the dust! Bonfire Studios, bless their cotton socks, is unleashing Arkheron upon us, a PvP…