Swallow the Sun Bio: Now in English (ish) – Preorder Before We Change Our Minds
OMG! 😱 Prepare yourselves, metalheads, for the most groundbreaking, earth-shattering news of the century! Century Media Records is proud to…
Tag: News
Trump Says He’s Cool With Dropping More Bombs on Alleged Drug Boats, Because Why Not
Another day, another victory for President Trump in the War on Drugs! Those pathetic drug smugglers thought they could sneak…
“Totally Disgusted” Cries Victim After Trump Lets Rich Guy Who Probably Deserved It Off the Hook, CNN Reports (Obviously)
Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re clutching their pearls because President Trump, the greatest negotiator this country…
OMG! Bone Temple Trailer: Dr. Kelson vs Jimmy Crystal – 28 Years of Awkwardness
OMG! 😱 Sony Pictures just dropped the *second* trailer for 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple, and let’s be real,…
Samsung’s Atomic Move: Melds Fallout Wasteland with Your Couch Potato Existence
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! 🤩 Samsung, in its infinite wisdom (or maybe just a desperate attempt to stay…
Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 Cast? More Like “Expedition Who?” Nobody Cares, Says Cox In Mo-Cap Snub
OMG! 😱 Charlie Cox, bless his heart, thinks the jiggly dudes in motion capture suits deserve some credit for Clair…
GOP Senator Thinks Hegseth Is Either a Big Fat Liar or Just Plain Dumb, LOL
Another day, another Deep State conspiracy! These RINO Republicans and the radical Democrats are at it again, folks, trying to…
Republicans Hilariously Backpedal Faster Than a Roadrunner on the Double-Tap Debacle | CNN Politics
Here we go again, folks! The liberal media (aka CNN, or as I like to call them, the Communist News…
GODSMACK Announces Summer 2026 European Tour (For the 7 People Still Listening)
GODSMACK, those purveyors of, uh, “music,” have announced a whopping dozen or so European shows for the distant year of…
‘Ukraine vs Russia: A Totally Fair Fight (Spoiler: It’s Not)’
Oh, the horror! CNN is clutching its pearls over Russia supposedly erasing Ukrainian culture. You know, because sending billions in…