US Lies | Clown News Network
Rahm Emanuel, swamp creature extraordinaire, sheds crocodile tears after National Guard mishap. Is this another deep state plot to undermine…
Tag: News
College Kid Gets Kicked Out of US After Trying to Surprise His Fam for Turkey Day, Judge’s Orders Be Damned
Oh, the humanity! Or should I say, oh, the Honduranity! Another sob story from the Fake News CNN, folks. A…
Netflix’s ‘Assassin’s Creed’ Finds Its Poor Soul, Set to Film in Pizza Land
Oh, great, another Assassin’s Creed adaptation! 🙄 Because the movie wasn’t a colossal dumpster fire 🔥 enough, Netflix has decided…
Trump’s ‘Very Soon’ Venezuela Smackdown: Drug Cartels Beware (Or Not)
President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is about to clean up the Venezuelan swamp! It’s about time we stopped these…
CNN Asks: Zelensky Has a ‘Blind Spot’ For Corruption? No Way
Another day, another Deep State drama! Zelensky’s buddy gets raided, probably for having too much Ukrainian Hryvnia and not enough…
Warframe: The Old Peace Update – Prepare for Disappointment on December 10th
OMG! 😱 Warframe is FINALLY giving us The Old Peace on December 10th! 🗓️ Get ready to have your mind…
Jeff Loomis Gaslighting Fans With ‘New’ Nevermore LP (Spoiler: It’s Just Him Shredding Over a Drum Machine)
OMG! 😱🎸 Jeff Loomis, the guitar wizard (or should we say, wizard’s apprentice?) of the shredtastic realm, just yapped about…
Ex-ARCH ENEMY Singer ALISSA WHITE-GLUZ Blames YOU For Her Existential Crisis
OMG! 😱 Former ARCH ENEMY vocalist Alissa White-Gluz wants you to know how much she appreciates your “love and support”…
Ripple Island: Kyle and Cal’s Culinary Catastrophe Now Plaguing Nintendo Switch 2 (allegedly) & Steam!
Alright gamers, listen up! 📢 SUNSOFT, bless their cotton socks, has unleashed Ripple Island: Kyle and Cal’s Restaurant upon the…
AI Bullshit: Why Your Portfolio is About to Get Skynet-ted
Nvidia, the Deep State’s favorite chipmaker, posts “blockbuster” earnings, but the stock dips? Sounds like Soros is shorting it, folks!…