Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Events
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: News

Gilgo Beach Suspect’s DNA Gets a High-Tech Makeover (Thanks, Science)
Elephant Reads CNN

Gilgo Beach Suspect’s DNA Gets a High-Tech Makeover (Thanks, Science)

Big ElephantSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

Another win for justice and sound science, folks! This judge isn’t falling for the Deep State’s attempts to muddy the…

Hideo Kojima Says MGSV Was “Unfinished” – No Duh
Breaking, Games News

Hideo Kojima Says MGSV Was “Unfinished” – No Duh

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did Kojima JUST admit Metal Gear Solid V was a total dumpster fire 🔥? You won’t BELIEVE this!…

SEX PISTOLS (feat. FRANK CARTER): Geriatric Punk Show CANCELED ‘Cause Stevie’s Wrist Went “Bollocks”
Breaking, Music News

SEX PISTOLS (feat. FRANK CARTER): Geriatric Punk Show CANCELED ‘Cause Stevie’s Wrist Went “Bollocks”

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

OMG! 😱 Just when you thought 2025 couldn’t get any more lit 🔥, Frank Carter and those geriatric delinquents from…

White House desperately tries to convince you Trump’s not a zombie | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

White House desperately tries to convince you Trump’s not a zombie | CNN Politics

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re pushing the narrative that our glorious President Trump is somehow unwell…

Helldivers 2: Still Buggy, But Now With MORE Bugs and Planets to Liberate (or Die Trying)
Breaking, Games News

Helldivers 2: Still Buggy, But Now With MORE Bugs and Planets to Liberate (or Die Trying)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Helldivers 2, now with added Xbox exclusivity (because PC players are *obviously* superior 🙄), has graced us with the “Into…

Thunderbirds Are (Barely) Go! Two Episodes Fly (Like Geriatrics) to Cinemas for 60th Anniversary Cash Grab, New Trailer Released (Prepare for Disappointment)
Breaking, Movie News

Thunderbirds Are (Barely) Go! Two Episodes Fly (Like Geriatrics) to Cinemas for 60th Anniversary Cash Grab, New Trailer Released (Prepare for Disappointment)

FinnSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Anderson Entertainment, bless their cotton socks, and Kaleidoscope Entertainment, who apparently still exist, have decided to unleash a “big-screen experience”…

Stocks Soaring? More Like Snoring-ly Overpriced | CNN (Clueless) Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Stocks Soaring? More Like Snoring-ly Overpriced | CNN (Clueless) Business

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Another day, another socialist scare tactic from CNN! They’re whining about the stock market being “expensive” and “vulnerable.” News flash,…

CNN’s Sept 2 Rundown: Afghanistan’s a Mess, Sudan’s a Bigger Mess, Covid’s Still a Thing, Chicago’s Still Chicago, and Mass Shootings, Because ‘Murica
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s Sept 2 Rundown: Afghanistan’s a Mess, Sudan’s a Bigger Mess, Covid’s Still a Thing, Chicago’s Still Chicago, and Mass Shootings, Because ‘Murica

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Folks, President Trump is once again showing why he’s the greatest! He’s awarding the Medal of Freedom to Rudy Giuliani,…

Oops! Looks Like Some College Kids Got a Case of the ‘Active Shooter’ Prank Call Blues
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! Looks Like Some College Kids Got a Case of the ‘Active Shooter’ Prank Call Blues

Big ElephantSeptember 1, 2025September 1, 2025

More than a dozen colleges hit by “swatting” hoaxes! Obviously, this is just another Deep State plot to make Trump’s…

Rudy Giuliani survives another near-death experience in New Hampshire, proving once again that even car crashes can’t stop America’s mayor from seeking attention
Elephant Reads CNN

Rudy Giuliani survives another near-death experience in New Hampshire, proving once again that even car crashes can’t stop America’s mayor from seeking attention

Big ElephantAugust 31, 2025August 31, 2025

Oh, the Deep State’s at it again! Looks like they couldn’t get to Rudy the legal way, so they had…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 164 165 166 … 232 Next

Latest posts

  • I Prevail’s Eric Vanlerberghe Spills Tea On Forcing Amira Elfky To Sing On Paradise Single
  • You Won’t Believe What Just Happened Today Folks
  • Modern Metal Fans in the Comments Be Like 💀
  • Giannis Antetokounmpo Takes Out Full-Page Ad Thanking Bucks Fans For Not Eating Him
  • Rockies Ask Girl Scout Who Threw Out First Pitch If She Can Go 9 Innings Tonight

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}