Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: News

Joe Bonamassa Says Ozzy’s Guitarists Aren’t Just Random Dudes He Picked Up at the Gas Station
Breaking, Music News

Joe Bonamassa Says Ozzy’s Guitarists Aren’t Just Random Dudes He Picked Up at the Gas Station

Chord F. DiscordAugust 4, 2025August 4, 2025

The day after Ozzy Osbourne allegedly kicked the bucket 🪣 (or, you know, “passed away” according to the overly sensitive),…

Trump Thinks the BLS is Rigged Like a Casino Game – Here’s How Math Works, Apparently
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Thinks the BLS is Rigged Like a Casino Game – Here’s How Math Works, Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 4, 2025August 4, 2025

Oh, the Deep State’s at it again! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, has uncovered yet another leftist plot to…

Steven Wilson Cries Bitter Tears Because Guns N’ Roses Said ‘NO WAY, DUDE’ to His Fancy Remix of ‘Use Your Illusion’ Albums: Apparently, Axl Rose Hates Surround Sound
Breaking, Music News

Steven Wilson Cries Bitter Tears Because Guns N’ Roses Said ‘NO WAY, DUDE’ to His Fancy Remix of ‘Use Your Illusion’ Albums: Apparently, Axl Rose Hates Surround Sound

Chord F. DiscordAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Oh, the tragedy! 😭 In a recent, heart-wrenching interview with Andrew McKaysmith of the incredibly influential Scars And Guitars podcast…

Andi Deris of HELLOWEEN Was SOOOO Concerned About OZZY’s Health 25 Years Ago, It Kept Him Up at Least 10 Minutes a Night
Breaking, Music News

Andi Deris of HELLOWEEN Was SOOOO Concerned About OZZY’s Health 25 Years Ago, It Kept Him Up at Least 10 Minutes a Night

Chord F. DiscordAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

In an EXCLUSIVE interview with Ernest Skinner of Canada’s *checks notes* Border City Rock Talk (never heard of it), HELLOWEEN…

Trump Punks Penny-Pinching Public with Package Tax Prank
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Punks Penny-Pinching Public with Package Tax Prank

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Oh, the liberal tears are flowing like a mighty river! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is shutting down the…

Itch.io Backtracks Like a Drunk Snail, Unhides the Naughty Bits (But Still Keeps Your Wallet Safe)
Breaking, Games News

Itch.io Backtracks Like a Drunk Snail, Unhides the Naughty Bits (But Still Keeps Your Wallet Safe)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Oh, the drama! 🍿 Our beloved indie game haven, Itch.io, decided to play hide-and-seek with the naughty bits last week,…

Batman Returns (and promptly leaves because who wants to see that again)
Breaking, Movie News

Batman Returns (and promptly leaves because who wants to see that again)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Oh, great, more Batman 🦇. As if we needed another reason to relive the glory days of the late ’80s…

Another One Bites the Dust: Fed Governor Flees, MAGA Minion to Fill the Void | CNN (Comically Negligible News) Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Another One Bites the Dust: Fed Governor Flees, MAGA Minion to Fill the Void | CNN (Comically Negligible News) Business

Big ElephantAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Oh, joy! Another Deep State operative bites the dust! Adriana Kugler, hand-picked by Sleepy Joe himself, is hightailing it out…

CNN: Trump’s Tariffs—Still the Leprosy of Economics, But Republicans are Catching the Disease
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Trump’s Tariffs—Still the Leprosy of Economics, But Republicans are Catching the Disease

Big ElephantAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Oh, the liberal media is at it again, folks! They’re trying to twist the narrative on President Trump’s brilliant tariff…

Spoiled Brats in the Sky: How Private Jets are Ruining the Planet for Everyone Else
Elephant Reads CNN

Spoiled Brats in the Sky: How Private Jets are Ruining the Planet for Everyone Else

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2025July 31, 2025

Oh, the horror! Those limousine liberals are at it again, polluting our precious skies with their private jets while lecturing…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 215 216 217 … 268 Next

Latest posts

  • Badalamenti’s Blue Velvet Score Turns 40 On Vinyl
  • Tim Burton’s Mars Attacks Hits 4K Ultra HD
  • White House UFC Fight Erupts Over Michelle Obama Non Insult
  • 10 Rejected Titles For Biden’s New Memoir
  • Slipknot hires producer Matt Wallace because 50 arrangements clearly isnt enough chaos

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}