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Tag: News

Oops! They Used a Nazi Law to Maybe Kick Out More Americans!
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! They Used a Nazi Law to Maybe Kick Out More Americans!

Big ElephantJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

Another day, another attempt by the Fake News CNN to smear our glorious President Trump! They’re clutching their pearls over…

Stronghold Crusader: Definitive Edition’s “Epic Roadmap” to July 15th: Prepare for Disappointment
Breaking, Games News

Stronghold Crusader: Definitive Edition’s “Epic Roadmap” to July 15th: Prepare for Disappointment

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

Alright, gamers, gather ’round and let’s talk about Firefly Studios and their “plans” for Stronghold Crusader: Definitive Edition. Yes, you…

Lawmakers bravely venture into ‘Alligator Alcatraz,’ may become gator snacks | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Lawmakers bravely venture into ‘Alligator Alcatraz,’ may become gator snacks | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! The liberal snowflakes are melting faster than an iceberg in July over…

Michael Madsen Kicks the Bucket at 67, Probably While Holding a Bloody Prop
Breaking, Movie News

Michael Madsen Kicks the Bucket at 67, Probably While Holding a Bloody Prop

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Well, well, well, what do we have here? Seems like Mr. Blonde himself, Michael Madsen, has decided to check out…

Gamification: How Digital Media Will Enslave Customers by 2025
Breaking, Games News

Gamification: How Digital Media Will Enslave Customers by 2025

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Ah, gamification, the buzzword that refuses to die. It’s not just badges and points anymore, oh no. In the futuristic…

June Jobs Report: Hidden Bad News or Just Another Doomsday Prophecy
Elephant Reads CNN

June Jobs Report: Hidden Bad News or Just Another Doomsday Prophecy

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Ah, CNN, still trying to find a cloud in President Trump’s sunshine! They’re clutching at straws, folks, straws! The June…

GFN Thursday: GeForce NOW Yeets 20 Games Including Little Nightmares III (But Who’s Counting)
Breaking, Games News

GFN Thursday: GeForce NOW Yeets 20 Games Including Little Nightmares III (But Who’s Counting)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Okay, so apparently, it’s 2025, and NVIDIA GeForce NOW is still a thing? 🤣 Who knew? I thought cloud gaming…

‘Crimson Tide 2: Electric Boogaloo’ Incoming
Breaking, Movie News

‘Crimson Tide 2: Electric Boogaloo’ Incoming

FinnJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Oh, sweet Neptune’s beard! 🧜‍♂️ Jerry Bruckheimer, bless his octogenarian heart, is apparently smoking something stronger than sea kelp and…

Xiaomi’s Mix Flip 2: Finally, a Foldable That Won’t Break the Bank (Unless You Buy All the Accessories)
Breaking

Xiaomi’s Mix Flip 2: Finally, a Foldable That Won’t Break the Bank (Unless You Buy All the Accessories)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Oh, honey, Xiaomi’s at it again. Just when you thought they couldn’t possibly cram more useless gadgets into our lives,…

Helldivers 2 Finally Crawls to Xbox (With Crossplay, No One Cares) This August
Breaking, Games News

Helldivers 2 Finally Crawls to Xbox (With Crossplay, No One Cares) This August

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Ah, yes, Helldivers 2, the game that made everyone question their life choices while simultaneously screaming “FOR SUPER EARTH!” is…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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