Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Occasionally

The Absolute *Shocking* Oscar Winners That Make Us Question Humanity’s Taste
Breaking, Movie News

The Absolute *Shocking* Oscar Winners That Make Us Question Humanity’s Taste

FinnMarch 10, 2026March 10, 2026

Okay, let’s get this straight. The Academy Awards are meant to be the pinnacle of cinematic achievement—the gold standard for…

TIME reporter bravely admits, “I’m not dead yet,” after Trump casually reminds him that war is *gasp* dangerous
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

TIME reporter bravely admits, “I’m not dead yet,” after Trump casually reminds him that war is *gasp* dangerous

Big ElephantMarch 7, 2026March 7, 2026

Look Who’s Scared Now: TIME Reporter Cries About War Chats With Trump Oh, look! The liberals are clutching their pearls…

METALLICA: Because Las Vegas Wasn’t Loud Enough, Here Come Six More Shows to Melt Your Ears at the Sphere
Hold Onto Your Mosh Pits, Nerds: METALLICA Is Coming to Sphere, and Your Bank Account Will Never Recover
Breaking, Music News

METALLICA: Because Las Vegas Wasn’t Loud Enough, Here Come Six More Shows to Melt Your Ears at the Sphere

Chord F. DiscordMarch 2, 2026March 2, 2026

Oh look, another announcement that’s going to make every metalhead with disposable income hyperventilate. METALLICA, those delightful four horsemen of…

Prime Video’s March 2026 Lineup: More Shows Than You Have Time to Watch (Or Will)
Prime Video's March 2026 Lineup: Where Quality Meets "Wait, That's Still a Thing?"
Breaking, Movie News

Prime Video’s March 2026 Lineup: More Shows Than You Have Time to Watch (Or Will)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 1, 2026March 1, 2026

Prime Video continues its monthly tradition of making you question your life choices with a March 2026 lineup so vast,…

Live

“NHS Pensions: The Golden Goose That Keeps on Giving (or Just Confusing You?)”

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 1, 2026

Oh great, another NHS Pension Scheme event. Just what we all needed, right? NHS Pensions – Understanding the Scheme and…

Nick Barker: The Thunderous Tales of a Blast Beat Legend, Now in Book Form (No Need to Double-Kick Your Way Through It)
Breaking, Music News

Nick Barker: The Thunderous Tales of a Blast Beat Legend, Now in Book Form (No Need to Double-Kick Your Way Through It)

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 16, 2026February 16, 2026

Well, well, well… look who’s finally decided to spill the beans—Nick Barker, the legendary blast-beat machine himself, is writing an…

Honkai Star Rail Invasion: Epic Crossover Chaos Hits Fortnite, Version 4.0 Drops Sooner Than You Can Say “Genshin Who?”
Breaking, Games News

Honkai Star Rail Invasion: Epic Crossover Chaos Hits Fortnite, Version 4.0 Drops Sooner Than You Can Say “Genshin Who?”

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 9, 2026February 9, 2026

Two titanic forces of live-service gaming are finally crashing into each other like two oblivious shoppers at a buffet, as…

Zakk Wylde Claims AI in Music Is “Fine,” But It’s “Still a Soul-Crushing Void Compared to Real Talent”
Breaking, Music News

Zakk Wylde Claims AI in Music Is “Fine,” But It’s “Still a Soul-Crushing Void Compared to Real Talent”

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 8, 2026February 8, 2026

Zakk Wylde Says A.I. Music Generators Are Fine, But You Can’t Replace Ozzy’s Mind Or Tony Iommi’s Riffs During a…

SLIPKNOT’s Secret 2008 Album ‘Look Outside Your Window’ Finally Emerges From the Basement in April Because the Band Got Bored of Waiting
SLIPKNOT Fans Finally Get to Hear the "Lost Album" That Wasn't Even That Lost
Breaking, Music News

SLIPKNOT’s Secret 2008 Album ‘Look Outside Your Window’ Finally Emerges From the Basement in April Because the Band Got Bored of Waiting

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 4, 2026February 4, 2026

Well, well, well… Looks like the boys in the masks have finally decided to stop hoarding their “secret stash” of…

EVE Online Director’s Letter Promises 2026 Will Be *Totally* Not Another Year of Spinning Ships and Waiting for Space Potatoes to Grow
Breaking, Games News

EVE Online Director’s Letter Promises 2026 Will Be *Totally* Not Another Year of Spinning Ships and Waiting for Space Potatoes to Grow

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 3, 2026February 3, 2026

Prepare Your Ships, Capsuleers: EVE Online’s 2026 Roadmap Is Here to Ruin Your Sleep Schedule Oh boy, CCP Games just…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 4 Next

Latest posts

  • Trump Visits Texas Again Because Why Not At This Point
  • Sydney Sweeney Discoveres Shocking Marilyn Monroe Family Tie
  • Tool and Limp Bizkit Headline 2026 Aftershock Festival
  • Prime Day Deals Extended Through October
  • Nation Saddened To Learn Iran May Not Actually Nuke LA

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.