Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Opinion

Liberal Houston can’t even fix their own toilets apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal Houston can’t even fix their own toilets apparently

Big ElephantApril 4, 2026April 4, 2026

It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be living under the wise and magnificent leadership of…

Analysis: Who Has the Leverage in the DHS Shutdown Debate Amid Airport Chaos?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Analysis: Who Has the Leverage in the DHS Shutdown Debate Amid Airport Chaos?

Big ElephantMarch 24, 2026March 24, 2026

Democrats Take Advantage of Airport Chaos to Demand Concessions The Department of Homeland Security has been shut down for over…

MAGA’s SAVE America Act: So Important They’re Screaming It From the Rooftops… Poll Says No One’s Listening
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

MAGA’s SAVE America Act: So Important They’re Screaming It From the Rooftops… Poll Says No One’s Listening

Big ElephantMarch 21, 2026March 21, 2026

Just 28% Support “SAVE America Act” Despite GOP Hype The Republican Party’s emergency over the “SAVE America Act” might be…

Supreme Court Revives Street Preacher’s Epic Rant Against ‘Sissies’ at Concert – Free Speech Wins, Egos Bruised
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court Revives Street Preacher’s Epic Rant Against ‘Sissies’ at Concert – Free Speech Wins, Egos Bruised

Big ElephantMarch 20, 2026March 20, 2026

Oh look, another “free speech” hero gets his day in court – and by hero, I mean the guy yelling…

Saipan Preview: Legendary Soccer Player Roy Keane’s Epic Tale Drops This March—Get Ready to Witness the Glory of His Glorious Glory!
Oh, Look! Another Film About Rich Men Arguing Over Nothing!
Breaking, Movie News

Saipan Preview: Legendary Soccer Player Roy Keane’s Epic Tale Drops This March—Get Ready to Witness the Glory of His Glorious Glory!

FinnMarch 12, 2026March 12, 2026

Football, the beautiful game where overpaid athletes chase a ball for 90 minutes while the rest of us pretend it…

Live

ECRG’s Master Plan Update: Zooming into the Future (Or Just Our Living Rooms)

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 26, 2026

**Draft Concept Meeting Alert!** Join the ECRG State Parks team for a virtual meeting to discuss the draft vision for…

Supreme Court Drops the Ball on Texas Woman’s Epic Saga of Alleged Postal Racism — Guess Her Mail Will Just Have to Wait Forever!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court Drops the Ball on Texas Woman’s Epic Saga of Alleged Postal Racism — Guess Her Mail Will Just Have to Wait Forever!

Big ElephantFebruary 24, 2026February 24, 2026

Oh look, the Supreme Court strikes again! This time they sided with the U.S. Postal Service and against a woman…

Zelda Games Ranked: From ‘Wait, This Exists?’ to ‘Breath of the Wild-ly Overrated’
Breaking, Games News

Zelda Games Ranked: From ‘Wait, This Exists?’ to ‘Breath of the Wild-ly Overrated’

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 21, 2026February 21, 2026

On December 4th, 2025, CGM’s Dayna Eileen messaged me, completely unprompted: “You should rank the Zelda games.” Being on the…

MATT SORUM On Being Inducted Into ROCK HALL With GUNS N’ ROSES: ‘It Was Sort Of Unimaginable’ And ‘Kind Of A Shock’
Oh look, Matt Sorum finally remembered what the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame is!
Breaking, Music News

MATT SORUM On Being Inducted Into ROCK HALL With GUNS N’ ROSES: ‘It Was Sort Of Unimaginable’ And ‘Kind Of A Shock’

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 9, 2026February 9, 2026

In early January, former GUNS N’ ROSES and VELVET REVOLVER drummer Matt Sorum sat down for an interview with WCZR…

Ex-FBI Agent Drops Truth Bombs on Nancy Guthrie’s Ransom Note Drama, Because Why Not?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ex-FBI Agent Drops Truth Bombs on Nancy Guthrie’s Ransom Note Drama, Because Why Not?

Big ElephantFebruary 6, 2026February 6, 2026

Oh look, another dramatic “kidnapping” story to distract from Biden’s dumpster fire presidency! So apparently Savannah Guthrie’s mom, Nancy, has…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 4 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 11 2026
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 11 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on July 11 2026
  • Uh Oh: Mamdani’s New NYC Map Includes ‘Little Auschwitz’ In Brooklyn
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 11, 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}