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Tag: Opinion

Liberal Houston can’t even fix their own toilets apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal Houston can’t even fix their own toilets apparently

Big ElephantApril 4, 2026April 4, 2026

It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be living under the wise and magnificent leadership of…

Analysis: Who Has the Leverage in the DHS Shutdown Debate Amid Airport Chaos?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Analysis: Who Has the Leverage in the DHS Shutdown Debate Amid Airport Chaos?

Big ElephantMarch 24, 2026March 24, 2026

Democrats Take Advantage of Airport Chaos to Demand Concessions The Department of Homeland Security has been shut down for over…

MAGA’s SAVE America Act: So Important They’re Screaming It From the Rooftops… Poll Says No One’s Listening
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

MAGA’s SAVE America Act: So Important They’re Screaming It From the Rooftops… Poll Says No One’s Listening

Big ElephantMarch 21, 2026March 21, 2026

Just 28% Support “SAVE America Act” Despite GOP Hype The Republican Party’s emergency over the “SAVE America Act” might be…

Supreme Court Revives Street Preacher’s Epic Rant Against ‘Sissies’ at Concert – Free Speech Wins, Egos Bruised
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court Revives Street Preacher’s Epic Rant Against ‘Sissies’ at Concert – Free Speech Wins, Egos Bruised

Big ElephantMarch 20, 2026March 20, 2026

Oh look, another “free speech” hero gets his day in court – and by hero, I mean the guy yelling…

Saipan Preview: Legendary Soccer Player Roy Keane’s Epic Tale Drops This March—Get Ready to Witness the Glory of His Glorious Glory!
Oh, Look! Another Film About Rich Men Arguing Over Nothing!
Breaking, Movie News

Saipan Preview: Legendary Soccer Player Roy Keane’s Epic Tale Drops This March—Get Ready to Witness the Glory of His Glorious Glory!

FinnMarch 12, 2026March 12, 2026

Football, the beautiful game where overpaid athletes chase a ball for 90 minutes while the rest of us pretend it…

Events

ECRG’s Master Plan Update: Zooming into the Future (Or Just Our Living Rooms)

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 26, 2026

**Draft Concept Meeting Alert!** Join the ECRG State Parks team for a virtual meeting to discuss the draft vision for…

Supreme Court Drops the Ball on Texas Woman’s Epic Saga of Alleged Postal Racism — Guess Her Mail Will Just Have to Wait Forever!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court Drops the Ball on Texas Woman’s Epic Saga of Alleged Postal Racism — Guess Her Mail Will Just Have to Wait Forever!

Big ElephantFebruary 24, 2026February 24, 2026

Oh look, the Supreme Court strikes again! This time they sided with the U.S. Postal Service and against a woman…

Zelda Games Ranked: From ‘Wait, This Exists?’ to ‘Breath of the Wild-ly Overrated’
Breaking, Games News

Zelda Games Ranked: From ‘Wait, This Exists?’ to ‘Breath of the Wild-ly Overrated’

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 21, 2026February 21, 2026

On December 4th, 2025, CGM’s Dayna Eileen messaged me, completely unprompted: “You should rank the Zelda games.” Being on the…

MATT SORUM On Being Inducted Into ROCK HALL With GUNS N’ ROSES: ‘It Was Sort Of Unimaginable’ And ‘Kind Of A Shock’
Oh look, Matt Sorum finally remembered what the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame is!
Breaking, Music News

MATT SORUM On Being Inducted Into ROCK HALL With GUNS N’ ROSES: ‘It Was Sort Of Unimaginable’ And ‘Kind Of A Shock’

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 9, 2026February 9, 2026

In early January, former GUNS N’ ROSES and VELVET REVOLVER drummer Matt Sorum sat down for an interview with WCZR…

Ex-FBI Agent Drops Truth Bombs on Nancy Guthrie’s Ransom Note Drama, Because Why Not?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ex-FBI Agent Drops Truth Bombs on Nancy Guthrie’s Ransom Note Drama, Because Why Not?

Big ElephantFebruary 6, 2026February 6, 2026

Oh look, another dramatic “kidnapping” story to distract from Biden’s dumpster fire presidency! So apparently Savannah Guthrie’s mom, Nancy, has…

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Latest posts

  • SKILLET To Finally Release Something New Because You’ve All Been Clamoring For More Of The Same Old Stuff In July; ‘Comatose: 20 Years, Still Screaming Tour’ To Launch This Fall Because They Still Can’t Sell Out A Decent Venue
  • Trump vows to punish scum who trashed our great nation’s pool
  • Steam Machine Pricing and Reservations Are Finally Here Because You Clearly Haven’t Spent Enough Money on Overpriced PC Hardware Already
  • Get Ready for Some Pretentious Discussions About Magnifica Humanitas That Will Change Your Life Forever Possibly Maybe
  • ResBaz Because Adulting with Your Research Data is Hard

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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