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Trump Gives Corporations License To Hack Around
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Gives Corporations License To Hack Around

Big ElephantAugust 14, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Trump administration is now enlisting private companies to conduct cyberattacks…

Selena Gomez’s Mental Health Startup Apparently Needs Therapy Itself
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Selena Gomez’s Mental Health Startup Apparently Needs Therapy Itself

Big ElephantAugust 14, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Selena Gomez’s mental health startup, Wondermind, and I have to say, it’s a…

Nick Holmes Still Clinging To Gothic Metal Label Because It Sounds Cooler Than Middle Aged Man Playing Music
Breaking, Music News

Nick Holmes Still Clinging To Gothic Metal Label Because It Sounds Cooler Than Middle Aged Man Playing Music

Chord F. DiscordAugust 14, 2026August 14, 2026

Oh no, the pioneers of gothic metal are still alive and kicking, and I’m not sure if I should be…

Lindsay Clancy’s Cellphone Reveals Steep Descent into Chaos Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Lindsay Clancy’s Cellphone Reveals Steep Descent into Chaos Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 13, 2026

I’m sitting here with my coffee, reading about the Lindsay Clancy trial, and I have to say, it’s a real…

Biden Team Desperately Seeks Less Awkward Press Secretary
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Biden Team Desperately Seeks Less Awkward Press Secretary

Big ElephantAugust 13, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like Washington is abuzz with the latest game of…

Feds Suddenly Forget How Guns Work Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Feds Suddenly Forget How Guns Work Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 13, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one – it seems like the Justice Department has decided not…

Because What The World Needed Was Cartoon Carnage
Breaking, Movie News

Because What The World Needed Was Cartoon Carnage

FinnAugust 13, 2026August 13, 2026

Get ready for the (animated) Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Because what the world really needed was another iteration of a…

Jay Weinberg’s Tragic Life Without Slipknot Now Slightly Less Miserable
Breaking, Music News

Jay Weinberg’s Tragic Life Without Slipknot Now Slightly Less Miserable

Chord F. DiscordAugust 13, 2026August 13, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, acclaimed drummer Jay Weinberg (SLIPKNOT, SUICIDAL TENDENCIES, Bruce Springsteen) has unleashed his latest collaborative…

Tennessee efficiently kills two birds with one executioner today
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Tennessee efficiently kills two birds with one executioner today

Big ElephantAugust 13, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like a big day for executions in the US,…

Spider-Man: Brand New Day somehow still making money for Disney
Breaking, Movie News

Spider-Man: Brand New Day somehow still making money for Disney

FinnAugust 13, 2026August 13, 2026

Spider-Man: Brand New Day has officially become the seventh film in history to gross over $700 million at the U.S.…

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