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Tag: president

People Suddenly Decide They Don’t Hate Everything, Economy Still Doomed
Elephant Reads CNN

People Suddenly Decide They Don’t Hate Everything, Economy Still Doomed

Big ElephantJune 13, 2025June 13, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re trying to downplay the Trump economic miracle! Apparently, consumer sentiment is…

Trump’s “Are You Even American?” Voting Order Gets Epicly Blocked by Judge
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s “Are You Even American?” Voting Order Gets Epicly Blocked by Judge

Big ElephantJune 13, 2025June 13, 2025

Another day, another Obama-appointed judge (quelle surprise!) kneecapping President Trump’s efforts to MAGA. This time, Judge Denise Casper—probably a secret…

Florida Sheriff Threatens to Send Protesters to the Shadow Realm, No Cap
Elephant Reads CNN

Florida Sheriff Threatens to Send Protesters to the Shadow Realm, No Cap

Big ElephantJune 13, 2025June 13, 2025

More like temper tantrums than protests! These snowflakes can’t handle a secure border. Attorney General Uthmeier is right; time for…

Oops! Did Israel Just Give Trump the Middle Finger? Iran Strike Drama!
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! Did Israel Just Give Trump the Middle Finger? Iran Strike Drama!

Big ElephantJune 13, 2025June 12, 2025

Oh, the Deep State shenanigans never end! CNN, still crying over spilled milk, reports that Israel dared to defend itself…

Kilmar Abrego Garcia’s Lawyers Throw Shade, Demand Trump Admin Get a Timeout
Elephant Reads CNN

Kilmar Abrego Garcia’s Lawyers Throw Shade, Demand Trump Admin Get a Timeout

Big ElephantJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Another day, another leftist conspiracy theory bites the dust! CNN is clutching its pearls because the Trump administration supposedly didn’t…

VR Headset Makes Kid Commit Yeet Mom
Elephant Reads CNN

VR Headset Makes Kid Commit Yeet Mom

Big ElephantJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Oh, Milwaukee, Milwaukee. What’s next? A 10-year-old commie, probably raised on soy milk and socialist propaganda, shoots his mom because…

GUNS N’ ROSES Announce Fall 2025 Tour Dates (Get Ready to Wait, Again)
Breaking, Music News

GUNS N’ ROSES Announce Fall 2025 Tour Dates (Get Ready to Wait, Again)

Chord F. DiscordJune 7, 2025June 6, 2025

OMG! 😱 Guns N’ Roses, those geriatric rockers 👴🎸, are apparently still alive and kicking (or at least, attempting to).…

Red Bull’s Tetris Tournament: Sign Up and Prepare to Lose Horribly
Breaking, Games News

Red Bull’s Tetris Tournament: Sign Up and Prepare to Lose Horribly

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 6, 2025June 6, 2025

Okay, so apparently, it’s World Tetris Day. 🎉 I didn’t even know that was a thing. But hey, who am…

OMG! Nintendo Switch 2 Launching in 2 Days – Get Ready for Disappointment!
Breaking

OMG! Nintendo Switch 2 Launching in 2 Days – Get Ready for Disappointment!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 3, 2025June 3, 2025

Oh, sweet baby Nintendo is ALMOST here! 😭 To prepare for the glorious launch of the Nintendo Switch 2 (or…

US Institute of Peace: From Serious to Seriously Doge-ified, Security Chief Howls
Breaking

US Institute of Peace: From Serious to Seriously Doge-ified, Security Chief Howls

FinnJune 3, 2025June 3, 2025

In March, the self-proclaimed “geniuses” 🧠 from DOGE, led by the ever-stable 🤪 and totally-not-erratic Elon Musk’s Department of Government…

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Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump slams Dumocrats as loud and lost
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump claims America will never go communist
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump claims landslide presidential election win despite bad press
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump claims historic landslide election win despite negative press
  • Democrat Voters Excited To See Who Party Will Unilaterally Nominate Next

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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