Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: president

Energy Secretary Chris Wright vows gas prices will plummet: ‘This is a weeks… not a months thing.’ — because who needs months when you’ve got magic?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Energy Secretary Chris Wright vows gas prices will plummet: ‘This is a weeks… not a months thing.’ — because who needs months when you’ve got magic?

Big ElephantMarch 8, 2026March 8, 2026

Energy Secretary Chris Wright Promises Quick Relief at the Pump as Trump’s America Takes Charge In a stunning display of…

Sen. Murphy throws a fit: “Unforgivable under any circumstances” because apparently, the US is always the bad guy
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Sen. Murphy throws a fit: “Unforgivable under any circumstances” because apparently, the US is always the bad guy

Big ElephantMarch 8, 2026March 8, 2026

Democrats Demand Answers as Iran School Attack Mystery Deepens When a school in Iran gets hit and hundreds of kids…

TIME reporter bravely admits, “I’m not dead yet,” after Trump casually reminds him that war is *gasp* dangerous
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

TIME reporter bravely admits, “I’m not dead yet,” after Trump casually reminds him that war is *gasp* dangerous

Big ElephantMarch 7, 2026March 7, 2026

Look Who’s Scared Now: TIME Reporter Cries About War Chats With Trump Oh, look! The liberals are clutching their pearls…

Former NATO Commander Gives U.S. Iran Campaign a Stellar 9/10 — Because Who Needs a Perfect Score Anyway?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Former NATO Commander Gives U.S. Iran Campaign a Stellar 9/10 — Because Who Needs a Perfect Score Anyway?

Big ElephantMarch 7, 2026March 7, 2026

Breaking News: Admiral Stravidiot Rates Trump’s Iran Blitz a ‘9/10’—Must Be Drinking Liberal Kool-Aid! In a shocking display of *woke…

Pentagon’s AI Going Full Skynet in Iran Strikes While Tech Bros Throw Shade Over Military Contracts
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pentagon’s AI Going Full Skynet in Iran Strikes While Tech Bros Throw Shade Over Military Contracts

Big ElephantMarch 7, 2026March 7, 2026

Breaking: Trump Unleashes AI-Guided Nukes on Iran — Because Why Not? In a stunning display of American military might, President…

Events

“ISACA UK & Ireland Chapters: Because Regular Tech Meetings Are Just Too Normal”

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 6, 2026

UK Cyber Policy & Regulation 2026: Prepare to be bored or enlightened (your call) 😴💻 ISACA’s UK Chapters finally united…

MAGA Georgia Elections Board: Trump’s Blueprint to Steal Atlanta’s 2020 Ballots Exposed!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

MAGA Georgia Elections Board: Trump’s Blueprint to Steal Atlanta’s 2020 Ballots Exposed!

Big ElephantMarch 5, 2026March 5, 2026

The MAGA takeover of Georgia’s elections is now complete, as the FBI swoops in to seize 656 boxes of ballots…

They Survived Iraq, Now They’re the Democrats’ Secret Weapon Against Iran’s War — Or at Least Their Loudest Complainers
BREAKING: DEMOCRATS IN DISARRAY AS TRUMP BOMBS IRAN INTO SUBMISSION
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

They Survived Iraq, Now They’re the Democrats’ Secret Weapon Against Iran’s War — Or at Least Their Loudest Complainers

Big ElephantMarch 5, 2026March 5, 2026

The Deep State is losing its collective mind as President Trump continues his mission to Make America Great Again. These…

Texas Showdown: Dems and GOP Learn the One Big Takeaway… Spoiler: It’s Still Hot as Hell
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Showdown: Dems and GOP Learn the One Big Takeaway… Spoiler: It’s Still Hot as Hell

Big ElephantMarch 5, 2026March 5, 2026

The Texas primaries are in the books, and it’s clear that Democrats are struggling to find their footing in the…

Transgender Kansans, ID-less and Terrified, Brace for a Future of Legal Chaos and Public Exile | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Transgender Kansans, ID-less and Terrified, Brace for a Future of Legal Chaos and Public Exile | CNN

Big ElephantMarch 5, 2026March 5, 2026

Breaking: Kansas Forces Transgender Citizens to Surrender IDs in Shocking New Law In a move that would make Stalin blush,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 35 36 37 … 217 Next

Latest posts

  • Tearful LeBron James Hands Over Flopping Crown To Shai Gilgeous-Alexander
  • Check Out These 10 Verses From The New James Talarico Bible Translation
  • Megyn Kelly Tells Listeners They Can Save 20% On Brooklyn Bedding With Promo Code ‘ALLAHUAKBAR’
  • Inflatable boat trip at Pig Destroyer show (Maryland Deathfest 2026)
  • New Harry Styles Tour Merch Includes Perimenopause Supplements

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
May 2026
S M T W T F S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Apr    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}