Harvard Egghead Gets Extra Time in the Clink for Froggy Felonies
Another day, another deep-state plot foiled, folks! This time, it’s a “Russian-born scientist” (wink, wink) from Harvard, that bastion of…
Tag: prison
Kilmar Abrego Garcia Still Living Rent-Free in Jail
Another day, another open border fiasco courtesy of the radical Left! Kilmar Abrego Garcia, a suspected human smuggler, might just…
Texas Track Meet Turns into a Real-Life Episode of ’13 Reasons Why’
Another day, another tragedy in the once-great state of Texas! But let’s not kid ourselves, folks. This isn’t just some…
VR Headset Makes Kid Commit Yeet Mom
Oh, Milwaukee, Milwaukee. What’s next? A 10-year-old commie, probably raised on soy milk and socialist propaganda, shoots his mom because…
Pet Shop Boys to Play Somber Gig for Dead Guy No One Can Pronounce
In a shocking turn of events that NO ONE saw coming, the Pet Shop Boys, those purveyors of vaguely melancholic…
3 Forgotten Flops You Can Hate-Watch in June 2025
If you’re desperately clawing for something to watch and have exhausted every cat video on YouTube, “Watch With Us” is…
Weinstein’s Lawyer Says Women May Have Exaggerated…Just a Tad
In a shocking turn of events that nobody saw coming (except maybe Harvey himself), Harvey Weinstein’s lawyer, probably paid in…
Stephen King Movies: According to This Guy (Who Thinks He’s a Critic)
Oh, sweet merciful crap, another Stephen King adaptation? 🙄 As if we needed more nightmare fuel for our already messed-up…
Burton C. Bell Admits He’s Allergic to Albums, Prefers Lonely Singles Instead
So, Burton C. Bell, the guy who used to scream about robots and industrial nightmares, but now screams about…well, himself,…
AS I LAY DYING: The “We Swear We’re Not Still Canceled” European Tour 2025 (Maybe)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because your favorite band of reformed (debatable) metalcore mayhem, AS I LAY DYING, is back! And…