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Tag: sale

‘Back to the Future’ AGAIN?! As If We Haven’t Suffered Enough
Breaking, Movie News

‘Back to the Future’ AGAIN?! As If We Haven’t Suffered Enough

FinnAugust 31, 2025August 31, 2025

OMG 😱! Did you know that if *Back to the Future* was made TODAY 🗓️, Marty McFly would travel back…

Ice Nine Kills Announces ‘Silver Scream Con London’ – Prepare for Ear Piercings and Bank Account Bleeding
Breaking, Events, Music News

Ice Nine Kills Announces ‘Silver Scream Con London’ – Prepare for Ear Piercings and Bank Account Bleeding

Chord F. DiscordAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

🤡 So, after gracing the U.S. with their oh-so-successful four years of… something… ICE NINE KILLS is unleashing Silver Scream…

Intel Gamer Days 2025: Because Your Rig Needs More RGB
Breaking, Games News

Intel Gamer Days 2025: Because Your Rig Needs More RGB

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

From Aug. 25 to Sept. 7, Intel Gamer Days is allegedly happening 🤣. It’s not just a sale—it’s a desperate…

“FRIDAY on a SATURDAY” aka Weekend Identity Crisis
Events

“FRIDAY on a SATURDAY” aka Weekend Identity Crisis

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 22, 2025

OMG! 🙄West Wind El Rancho Drive-In Movies, 555 El Rancho Dr., Sparks, Nv. 89431, August 23rd, 2025! 🗓️ “FRIDAY” &…

Aaaaaaaah! More Like Aaaaaaaagh! My Eyes! (10th Anniversary Re-Release)
Breaking, Movie News

Aaaaaaaah! More Like Aaaaaaaagh! My Eyes! (10th Anniversary Re-Release)

FinnAugust 15, 2025August 15, 2025

Tickets are now on sale for what is possibly the most intellectual cinematic masterpiece of our time, nay, of all…

Retail Sales Surge Like a Drunk Uncle at a Wedding, Up 0.5%
Elephant Reads CNN

Retail Sales Surge Like a Drunk Uncle at a Wedding, Up 0.5%

Big ElephantAugust 15, 2025August 15, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump and the American economy! CNN is trying to downplay the incredible news that…

Hollywood Rooftop: Get Drunk, Inhale Toxins, and Play With Hot Wax
Events

Hollywood Rooftop: Get Drunk, Inhale Toxins, and Play With Hot Wax

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 12, 2025

Oh, honey, get ready to SIP, SMOKE (but pay extra!), and CANDLE! 🙄 Craft candles while pretending you’re not basic.…

TIFF 2025: Prepare Your Wallets, Film Snobs, The Criterion Collection’s Garage Sale Hits Canada
Breaking, Movie News

TIFF 2025: Prepare Your Wallets, Film Snobs, The Criterion Collection’s Garage Sale Hits Canada

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Prepare yourselves, peasants! The illustrious Criterion Mobile Closet, a beacon of cinematic snobbery, is gracing the plebeian lands of TIFF…

GDEX 2025: Prepare for one more indie game convention
Breaking, Games News

GDEX 2025: Prepare for one more indie game convention

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Oh, look, another one of these things! The Game Devs of Color Expo 🙄 is back for its tenth year…

Wacken 2026: Still Alive? Featuring Bands Your Grandpa Listened To
Events

Wacken 2026: Still Alive? Featuring Bands Your Grandpa Listened To

Chord F. DiscordAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Oh, sweet Odin’s beard! 👴 They’re already planning Wacken Open Air 2026? Did we not learn ANYTHING from the mud-fest…

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Latest posts

  • Trump’s doc says get moving fatty but he’s totally fine naturally
  • Liberal Erin Brockovich suddenly cares about America’s tech progress somehow
  • Life Coaching for the Hopelessly Lost and Clueless People
  • Get Ready for Another Overpriced Wellness Fad Inner Wisdom Labyrinth Coming to Totally Not Rip You Off This Summer
  • Women Should Totally Settle For Less Because Who Needs Self Respect Anyway

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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