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Tag: sale

Ice Nine Kills Announces ‘Silver Scream Con London’ – Prepare for Ear Piercings and Bank Account Bleeding
Breaking, Events, Music News

Ice Nine Kills Announces ‘Silver Scream Con London’ – Prepare for Ear Piercings and Bank Account Bleeding

Chord F. DiscordAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

🤡 So, after gracing the U.S. with their oh-so-successful four years of… something… ICE NINE KILLS is unleashing Silver Scream…

Intel Gamer Days 2025: Because Your Rig Needs More RGB
Breaking, Games News

Intel Gamer Days 2025: Because Your Rig Needs More RGB

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

From Aug. 25 to Sept. 7, Intel Gamer Days is allegedly happening 🤣. It’s not just a sale—it’s a desperate…

“FRIDAY on a SATURDAY” aka Weekend Identity Crisis
Events

“FRIDAY on a SATURDAY” aka Weekend Identity Crisis

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 22, 2025

OMG! 🙄West Wind El Rancho Drive-In Movies, 555 El Rancho Dr., Sparks, Nv. 89431, August 23rd, 2025! 🗓️ “FRIDAY” &…

Aaaaaaaah! More Like Aaaaaaaagh! My Eyes! (10th Anniversary Re-Release)
Breaking, Movie News

Aaaaaaaah! More Like Aaaaaaaagh! My Eyes! (10th Anniversary Re-Release)

FinnAugust 15, 2025August 15, 2025

Tickets are now on sale for what is possibly the most intellectual cinematic masterpiece of our time, nay, of all…

Retail Sales Surge Like a Drunk Uncle at a Wedding, Up 0.5%
Elephant Reads CNN

Retail Sales Surge Like a Drunk Uncle at a Wedding, Up 0.5%

Big ElephantAugust 15, 2025August 15, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump and the American economy! CNN is trying to downplay the incredible news that…

Hollywood Rooftop: Get Drunk, Inhale Toxins, and Play With Hot Wax
Events

Hollywood Rooftop: Get Drunk, Inhale Toxins, and Play With Hot Wax

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 12, 2025

Oh, honey, get ready to SIP, SMOKE (but pay extra!), and CANDLE! 🙄 Craft candles while pretending you’re not basic.…

TIFF 2025: Prepare Your Wallets, Film Snobs, The Criterion Collection’s Garage Sale Hits Canada
Breaking, Movie News

TIFF 2025: Prepare Your Wallets, Film Snobs, The Criterion Collection’s Garage Sale Hits Canada

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Prepare yourselves, peasants! The illustrious Criterion Mobile Closet, a beacon of cinematic snobbery, is gracing the plebeian lands of TIFF…

GDEX 2025: Prepare for one more indie game convention
Breaking, Games News

GDEX 2025: Prepare for one more indie game convention

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Oh, look, another one of these things! The Game Devs of Color Expo 🙄 is back for its tenth year…

Wacken 2026: Still Alive? Featuring Bands Your Grandpa Listened To
Events

Wacken 2026: Still Alive? Featuring Bands Your Grandpa Listened To

Chord F. DiscordAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Oh, sweet Odin’s beard! đź‘´ They’re already planning Wacken Open Air 2026? Did we not learn ANYTHING from the mud-fest…

Nashville’s Antique Overpriced Yard Sale
Events

Nashville’s Antique Overpriced Yard Sale

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 26, 2025

**OMG! The Nashville Vintage Market is BACK! 🙄 Prepare for overpriced socks and dusty vinyl!** đź“… August 9th, 12-6pm. 📍…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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