Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Sales

What Happened to Minneapolis Businesses When ICE Came to Town And Absolutely Nobody Asked for a Receipt
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

What Happened to Minneapolis Businesses When ICE Came to Town And Absolutely Nobody Asked for a Receipt

Big ElephantJanuary 15, 2026January 15, 2026

EL BURRITO MERCADO: Democrats in Minnesota Panic as President Trump’s Patriot ICE Raids Expose the Woke Economy! President Trump’s second…

Former Great White Hopefuls Release Video for ‘Rockin’ Like The 80’s’ Because Apparently 2024 Is The New 1987
Breaking, Music News

Former Great White Hopefuls Release Video for ‘Rockin’ Like The 80’s’ Because Apparently 2024 Is The New 1987

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 15, 2026January 15, 2026

Hold onto your hairspray and dust off that old Spandex, because the 80s hair metal ghost-riding train just left the…

Health Connector Open Enrollment: Don’t Be An Idiot And Let The Deadline Screw You Over
Live

Health Connector Open Enrollment: Don’t Be An Idiot And Let The Deadline Screw You Over

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 14, 2026

Another “Health Connector” webinar has officially ended, folks. You missed it. On Wednesday, Jan 14 from 5 pm to 6…

FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH Announces Massive 2026 North American Leg Of 20th-Anniversary Tour
Breaking, Live, Music News

FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH Announces Massive 2026 North American Leg Of 20th-Anniversary Tour

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 13, 2026January 13, 2026

Brace your eardrums and your wallets, because the undisputed titans of “Did we just write another radio rock banger about…

Golden Globes Glow-Up: Celebs Stumble Into Skybar to Recover from Their Own Speeches
Live

Golden Globes Glow-Up: Celebs Stumble Into Skybar to Recover from Their Own Speeches

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 11, 2026

✨ 83rd Annual Golden Globe Awards After Party at Skybar ✨Black Tie Gala ·| Red Carpet | Celebrity DJs 📅…

How AI Can Save Small Businesses Time and Money (Or Just Give Them More Time to Scroll TikTok)
Live

How AI Can Save Small Businesses Time and Money (Or Just Give Them More Time to Scroll TikTok)

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 11, 2026

🚨BREAKING: NJ Business Action Center Hosts AI Webinar to Teach Small Biz Owners How to Not Get Replaced by Robots…

Rose Bowl Flea Market Sunday January 11 2026 because apparently dumpster diving with a Starbucks in hand is peak culture
Live

Rose Bowl Flea Market Sunday January 11 2026 because apparently dumpster diving with a Starbucks in hand is peak culture

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 10, 2026

The world-famous Rose Bowl Flea Market happens the second Sunday of every month! Shop over 2,500 vendors offering everything from…

Giant Step Turns 35.5 and Jams Like It’s 1989 (Minus the Hair Metal)
Live

Giant Step Turns 35.5 and Jams Like It’s 1989 (Minus the Hair Metal)

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 10, 2026

Breaking: Gilles Peterson, Ron Trent, and Kassa Overall will spin your world into a kaleidoscope of jazz and beats at…

Business Ownership Summit: How to Fail Spectacularly in 2026 With the Perfectly Wrong Business
Live

Business Ownership Summit: How to Fail Spectacularly in 2026 With the Perfectly Wrong Business

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 6, 2026

**In 2026, you could finally stop doomscrolling LinkedIn and become a “boss” — if you survive Beau Eckstein’s 2-hour sales…

EXTREME Finally Decides to Make Another Album (Yes, They’re Still a Thing)
Breaking, Music News

EXTREME Finally Decides to Make Another Album (Yes, They’re Still a Thing)

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 5, 2026January 5, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: EXTREME ANNOUNCES SEVENTH ALBUM AFTER ONLY 3 YEARS OF SILENCE (A RECORD FOR THEM) 🚨 In a shocking…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 13 14 15 … 27 Next

Latest posts

  • California Bails on Paramount Meeting Amid WBD Takeover Drama
  • Sports teams for sale to billionaires only apparently
  • US Army Helicopters Falling From Sky At Record Pace Somehow Still On Budget
  • US Scores Big Win Against Boat Possibly Carrying Drugs
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump restores energy independence and affordability despite blue state sabotage

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.