Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Jackal Research Division
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Sales

SKILLET To Finally Release Something New Because You’ve All Been Clamoring For More Of The Same Old Stuff In July; ‘Comatose: 20 Years, Still Screaming Tour’ To Launch This Fall Because They Still Can’t Sell Out A Decent Venue
Breaking, Music News

SKILLET To Finally Release Something New Because You’ve All Been Clamoring For More Of The Same Old Stuff In July; ‘Comatose: 20 Years, Still Screaming Tour’ To Launch This Fall Because They Still Can’t Sell Out A Decent Venue

Chord F. DiscordJune 22, 2026June 22, 2026

Get ready to scream, folks! πŸŽΈπŸ”Š Christian rockers SKILLET have just announced their explosive new single, “Scream”, and it’s about…

Devil May Cry Remake Because The Original Wasn’t Already Perfect And Didn’t Deserve To Be Left Alone
Breaking, Games News

Devil May Cry Remake Because The Original Wasn’t Already Perfect And Didn’t Deserve To Be Left Alone

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 22, 2026June 22, 2026

A new leak has emerged, and it’s time to get hyped (or not) about a potential Devil May Cry remake…

DANZIG Finally Decides to Leave His Mom’s Basement for a Few Days to Play Some Shows in Front of a Bunch of Old Goths Who Still Think It’s 1988
Breaking, Events, Music News

DANZIG Finally Decides to Leave His Mom’s Basement for a Few Days to Play Some Shows in Front of a Bunch of Old Goths Who Still Think It’s 1988

Chord F. DiscordJune 17, 2026June 17, 2026

DANZIG is going on tour because apparently, he needs new material for his next film πŸŽ₯, and what’s better than…

OH JOY NEKROGOBLIKON Is Still Alive And Will Be Torturing Ears On Their Totally Not Overdue 20th Anniversary Tour Because You Clearly Didn’t Get Enough Of Them The First Time Around
Breaking, Events, Music News

OH JOY NEKROGOBLIKON Is Still Alive And Will Be Torturing Ears On Their Totally Not Overdue 20th Anniversary Tour Because You Clearly Didn’t Get Enough Of Them The First Time Around

Chord F. DiscordJune 9, 2026June 9, 2026

Get ready for the most epic, life-changing, and potentially ear-destroying experience of your life: NEKROGOBLIKON is going on tour πŸ€―πŸŽ‰!…

Oh Boy Get Ready For Another Underwhelming Year Of Overhyped Indie Games At The Wholesome Direct 2026
Breaking, Games News

Oh Boy Get Ready For Another Underwhelming Year Of Overhyped Indie Games At The Wholesome Direct 2026

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 6, 2026June 6, 2026

Get ready for the most epic gaming experience of the year, folks! πŸŽ‰πŸ‘€ Wholesome Games is back with Wholesome Direct…

DAVID DRAIMAN Claims DISTURBED’s New Songs Are So Groundbreakingly Original You’ll Forget They’re The Same Band That’s Been Playing The Same Riff For 20 Years
Breaking, Music News

DAVID DRAIMAN Claims DISTURBED’s New Songs Are So Groundbreakingly Original You’ll Forget They’re The Same Band That’s Been Playing The Same Riff For 20 Years

Chord F. DiscordMay 31, 2026May 31, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys in for a treat! πŸŽ‰πŸ€© David Draiman, the lead vocalist of DISTURBED, has just announced…

Backrooms and Obsession Totally Not Made by Nerds in Their Basement Floor Beat Mandalorian and Grogu Because Who Needs Cute Baby Yoda Anyway
Breaking, Movie News

Backrooms and Obsession Totally Not Made by Nerds in Their Basement Floor Beat Mandalorian and Grogu Because Who Needs Cute Baby Yoda Anyway

FinnMay 31, 2026May 31, 2026

Suddenly, movie theaters are cool again, and we’re not talking about the kind of cool where your grandma thinks they’re…

Sony Days of Play 2026 Because You Clearly Didn’t Spend Enough Money on PlayStation Stuff Already and Now We’re Going to Take All Your Money with Discounts on PS5 Accessories VR
Breaking, Events, Games News

Sony Days of Play 2026 Because You Clearly Didn’t Spend Enough Money on PlayStation Stuff Already and Now We’re Going to Take All Your Money with Discounts on PS5 Accessories VR

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 26, 2026May 26, 2026

It’s that time of the year again, folks! πŸŽ‰ Sony Days of Play 2026 has finally arrived, and we can’t…

Sony Desperately Tries to Cling to Old School Gaming While Hackers Laugh Maniacally and Plot to Ruin Everything
Breaking News: Sony Decides to Go Back to the Stone Age with Single-Player Games πŸš€πŸ‘€
Breaking, Games News

Sony Desperately Tries to Cling to Old School Gaming While Hackers Laugh Maniacally and Plot to Ruin Everything

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 19, 2026May 19, 2026

It looks like Sony has finally realized that the whole “multi-platform” thing was just a fad, and they’re going back…

THE SMASHING PUMPKINS Finally Decide to Get Off Their Couches and Announce Fall 2026 ‘We’re Not Old Yet But Our Music Is’ Tour
Breaking, Events, Music News

THE SMASHING PUMPKINS Finally Decide to Get Off Their Couches and Announce Fall 2026 ‘We’re Not Old Yet But Our Music Is’ Tour

Chord F. DiscordMay 18, 2026May 18, 2026

Big News, Folks! πŸŽ‰ THE SMASHING PUMPKINS are going on tour… again πŸ™„. Because, you know, they haven’t toured in,…

Posts pagination

1 2 … 24 Next

Latest posts

  • VENOM legends bring out the big guns to play to dozens of people in Uppsala
  • BREAKING TRUMP REVEALS DEMS TWINNING SCANDAL WITH ALFRED E NEUMAN LOOKALIKE
  • Christian Energy Drinks Hit Market
  • Israelite Keeping Quiet That He Doesn’t Particularly Care For Milk Or Honey
  • BREAKING EXCLUSIVE TRUTH BOMB FROM THE ORANGE ORACLE ON JUNE 23 2026 REVEALS ALL

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright Β© 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}