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Tag: Sales

Wendy’s Apocalypse: They’re taking away our Frostys
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Wendy’s Apocalypse: They’re taking away our Frostys

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Another American institution bites the dust, folks! Wendy’s, succumbing to the woke mob and their insatiable demands for “organic,” “sustainable,”…

Take-Two CEO Can’t Contain Himself Over Mafia’s Future, Thanks to Geriatric Simulator Success
Breaking, Games News

Take-Two CEO Can’t Contain Himself Over Mafia’s Future, Thanks to Geriatric Simulator Success

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Strauss Zelnick, the supreme overlord of Take-Two Interactive, has deigned to bless us with his infinite wisdom, declaring that Mafia:…

Event Check-In App: Because pens and paper are *so* last century
Live

Event Check-In App: Because pens and paper are *so* last century

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 5, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 Eventbrite’s Organizer app is here to “help” you manage your chaotic shindigs! 😂 Check-in? Sales? Secure payments? Sounds…

Performing Arts Ticketing Software: Yay, More Fees for Your Broke Audience
Live

Performing Arts Ticketing Software: Yay, More Fees for Your Broke Audience

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 5, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 Eventbrite says using their marketing tools boosts event sales! 3/1/2022-9/30/2022.🤯 No way! They also claim their Flex plan…

SOULFLY’s MAX CAVALERA: ‘Being a Young Band Sucks, Get a Real Job’
Breaking, Music News

SOULFLY’s MAX CAVALERA: ‘Being a Young Band Sucks, Get a Real Job’

Chord F. DiscordNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

In a groundbreaking revelation that will surely send shockwaves through the metal community (or maybe just a mild tremor), former…

SAVATAGE Announces 2026 ‘Prelude To Mild Discomfort’ European Tour (Maybe)
Live, Music News

SAVATAGE Announces 2026 ‘Prelude To Mild Discomfort’ European Tour (Maybe)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

OMG! 😱 Those geriatric metal “pioneers” SAVATAGE, bless their hearts, have announced their “Prelude To What?🤔 Dementia?” tour, featuring a…

“SNO-CIETY” – Warren Miller’s Epic Apres-Ski Shenanigans in Sun Valley, Bro
Live

“SNO-CIETY” – Warren Miller’s Epic Apres-Ski Shenanigans in Sun Valley, Bro

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 31, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 Warren Miller’s SNO-CIETY is hitting theaters near you! 🤣 From the Scottish Highlands, Finland, Whitewater, BC, to Denver,…

Wendy’s: More Like Wendy’s-aster am I right
Elephant Reads CNN

Wendy’s: More Like Wendy’s-aster am I right

Big ElephantOctober 31, 2025October 31, 2025

Another American institution bites the dust thanks to the woke mob! Wendy’s, that bastion of square burgers and frosty goodness,…

OMG! Apple Accidentally Leaks iPhone 17 Sales Data (Spoiler: It’s Doomed)
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Apple Accidentally Leaks iPhone 17 Sales Data (Spoiler: It’s Doomed)

Big ElephantOctober 30, 2025October 30, 2025

Oh, the Deep State’s favorite fruit peddler, Apple, released their quarterly earnings, and you won’t believe the spin they’re trying…

CNN’s Oct 29 Extravaganza: Melissa’s Tantrums, Asia’s Adventures, Trump’s Encore, Mideast Mayhem, and Boating Bloopers
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s Oct 29 Extravaganza: Melissa’s Tantrums, Asia’s Adventures, Trump’s Encore, Mideast Mayhem, and Boating Bloopers

Big ElephantOctober 29, 2025October 29, 2025

Every pathetic, virtue-signaling air traffic controller in the US received a whopping zero-dollar paystub this week. Cry me a river!…

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