Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Scream

Scream Your Lungs Out (and Annoy the Neighbors) at Melrose Rooftop Theatre
Live

Scream Your Lungs Out (and Annoy the Neighbors) at Melrose Rooftop Theatre

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 17, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 Doors at 7:30 PM, movie at 8:30 PM! 🎬 Wireless headphones, beanbags, & cityscape views? 🌆 General Admission…

“Primate” Trailer: Because Who Needs Sleep Anyway
Breaking, Movie News

“Primate” Trailer: Because Who Needs Sleep Anyway

FinnOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Oh, boy! 🙄 Another group of clueless vacationers stumble into a horror movie plot. 🎬 This time, it’s PRIMATE, directed…

Behold: Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger Butchers Metallica’s ‘Enter Sandman’ at Sammy Hagar’s Birthday Kegger
Breaking, Music News

Behold: Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger Butchers Metallica’s ‘Enter Sandman’ at Sammy Hagar’s Birthday Kegger

Chord F. DiscordOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

Sammy Hagar’s annual Birthday Bash 🤮🤮🤮 brought a bunch of has-beens, never-weres, and tequila-soaked nobodies to Cabo Wabo Cantina for,…

Cody Balmer Admits He Just Wanted to Roast Some Marshmallows at Shapiro’s Place
Elephant Reads CNN

Cody Balmer Admits He Just Wanted to Roast Some Marshmallows at Shapiro’s Place

Big ElephantOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

Another day, another unhinged leftist attacking our leaders! This time, some ANTIFA-affiliated nutjob named Cody Balmer, armed with gasoline-filled beer…

Union Prez Whines ‘Bout Feds Getting the Boot, Claims It’s, Like, Totally Illegal
Elephant Reads CNN

Union Prez Whines ‘Bout Feds Getting the Boot, Claims It’s, Like, Totally Illegal

Big ElephantOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Oh, the delicate snowflakes are at it again! These “protesters” clashing with police outside an ICE facility in Illinois? More…

M. Night Shyamalan Ruins the Magic 8 Ball with a TV Show No One Asked For
Breaking, Movie News

M. Night Shyamalan Ruins the Magic 8 Ball with a TV Show No One Asked For

FinnOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

  🤡 A Magic 8 Ball TV show? Oh, honey, the signs point to… maybe? I mean, who asked for…

Scream and Cheese Platter: A Night of Terror (and Gouda) at Bacari’s Crib
Live

Scream and Cheese Platter: A Night of Terror (and Gouda) at Bacari’s Crib

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 11, 2025

**OMG! 🙄** October Movie Nights at Bacari W. Adams, Los Angeles! 🎬 Every week, spooky classics! 👻 Sunday, October 12th:…

SLIPKNOT’s New Stuff: Eloy’s Spilling the Beans (Again?!)
Breaking, Music News

SLIPKNOT’s New Stuff: Eloy’s Spilling the Beans (Again?!)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

In a groundbreaking exposé with Ollie Winiberg of Drummer’s Review, SLIPKNOT’s very own drumming sensation, Eloy Casagrande, dropped a truth…

Ice Nine Kills Drools Over ’89 Batman, Churns Out Another Generic Track for Clueless Fanboys
Breaking, Music News

Ice Nine Kills Drools Over ’89 Batman, Churns Out Another Generic Track for Clueless Fanboys

Chord F. DiscordOctober 9, 2025October 9, 2025

ICE NINE KILLS, those maestros of musical mayhem, 🤡 invite you to “dance with the devil in the pale moonlight”…

As I Lay Dying or As I Lay Crying? New Lineup, New Single, Same Old Drama
Breaking, Music News

As I Lay Dying or As I Lay Crying? New Lineup, New Single, Same Old Drama

Chord F. DiscordOctober 8, 2025October 8, 2025

HAHA! 🤣 Metalcore “mainstays” AS I LAY DYING, the band that makes more comebacks than a boomerang on steroids, is…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 19 20 21 22 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump restores energy independence and affordability despite blue state sabotage
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Iran Parliament Speaker admits severe hunger crisis nationwide
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump predicts midterm election meltdown on Truth Social
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump delivers energy independence and affordability despite democrat sabotage
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald posts on Truth Social August 24 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.