Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Sequel

Ace Frehley’s Brain Explodes: Life Support Update
Breaking, Music News

Ace Frehley’s Brain Explodes: Life Support Update

Chord F. DiscordOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨: According to TMZ.com, the one and only, the *legendary* (air quotes, people) KISS guitarist Ace Frehley is currently…

Dissidia Duellum: Final Fantasy Mobile? More Like Final Agony—Coming 2026 (lol)
Breaking, Games News

Dissidia Duellum: Final Fantasy Mobile? More Like Final Agony—Coming 2026 (lol)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

OH. MY. GOD. 😱 Square Enix, those mad lads, they actually did it! After, like, a whole five years since…

‘Five Nights at Freddy’s’ Fans Somehow Okay With Megan Fox Playing a Chicken
Breaking, Movie News

‘Five Nights at Freddy’s’ Fans Somehow Okay With Megan Fox Playing a Chicken

FinnOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

HOLY. CHICKEN. NUGGETS. 🐔 They actually cast Megan Fox in Five Nights at Freddy’s 2. As Toy Chica? Are you…

Jeff Becerra Says POSSESSED’s New Album Will Be ‘Different’ – Translation: ‘We’re Screwed’
Breaking, Music News

Jeff Becerra Says POSSESSED’s New Album Will Be ‘Different’ – Translation: ‘We’re Screwed’

Chord F. DiscordOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

In a riveting exposé with Australia’s Devil’s Horns Zine, POSSESSED frontman Jeff Becerra, who, let’s be honest, probably spends more…

Halloween’s Over: Now Grovel For Our Leftovers
Events

Halloween’s Over: Now Grovel For Our Leftovers

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 11, 2025

**OMG! 😱 Another Halloween sequel? Halloween Aftermath— dropping Oct 12, 2025, 7:30 PM (Pacific Time). Cole Dalton survived 2018, but…

Diane Keaton, Queen of Quirky Rom-Coms, Kicks the Bucket at a Respectable 79
Breaking, Movie News

Diane Keaton, Queen of Quirky Rom-Coms, Kicks the Bucket at a Respectable 79

FinnOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

OMG! 😱 Like, can you even believe it? Diane Keaton, or whatever, croaked! 💀 Apparently, this happened on Saturday, October…

From Tsushima to Ghost of Yōtei: Because Jin Sakai Needed a Ski Trip, Duh
Breaking, Games News

From Tsushima to Ghost of Yōtei: Because Jin Sakai Needed a Ski Trip, Duh

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

Oh, look, another sequel no one asked for! Ghost of Yōtei is here to cash in on the fleeting glory…

‘Minecraft Movie’ Sequel Officially Plaguing Theaters in 2027
Breaking, Movie News

‘Minecraft Movie’ Sequel Officially Plaguing Theaters in 2027

FinnOctober 9, 2025October 9, 2025

OMG! 😱 The biggest cinematic masterpiece 🎬 of our generation, A Minecraft Movie, raked in a measly $423.9 million in…

TMNT Does a ‘Home Alone’ Bit? Cowabunga, I Guess
Breaking, Movie News

TMNT Does a ‘Home Alone’ Bit? Cowabunga, I Guess

FinnOctober 7, 2025October 7, 2025

Oh, sweet merciful pepperoni! 🍕 The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, those pizza-guzzling, sewer-dwelling reptiles, are apparently slumming it in New…

Ace Frehley Aborts Mission 2025: Blames It On The Space Flu Again
Breaking, Music News

Ace Frehley Aborts Mission 2025: Blames It On The Space Flu Again

Chord F. DiscordOctober 6, 2025October 6, 2025

OMG! Ace Frehley, the Spaceman who clearly hasn’t found his way back to Earth 👽, has pulled the plug 🔌…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 10 11 12 … 20 Next

Latest posts

  • Democrats Hopeful Average Texas Voter Wants To Ban Steak And Thinks God Is Gay
  • BREAKING: ANTHRAX Debuts New Song ‘Its For The Kids’ Because Clearly The World Was Missing A 60 Year Old Man Screaming About Juvenile Delinquency
  • The Witcher 3 Is Getting One Last Surprise Expansion Because You Clearly Didn’t Spend Enough Hours of Your Life Playing It Already and Geralt Is Coming Back to Ruin Your Social Life Again
  • Backrooms Review: Because Who Needs Original Ideas When You Can Just Copy Paste Some Spooky Stuff and Call it a Day
  • Become a Semi Competent Leader in 3 Easy Steps Learn to Stop Freaking Out and Maybe Possibly Adapt to Change

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
May 2026
S M T W T F S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Apr    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}