Because what’s a theme park attraction without a few noise complaints from the neighbors, right? Universal Studios Hollywood’s latest addition, Fast & Furious: Hollywood Drift, is still in the testing phase, but it’s already making its presence known – and heard – by the local residents. The coaster’s unique design, which features cars that rotate to simulate drifting, has been causing a ruckus, with neighbors describing the sound as “non-stop” and “obnoxious noise throughout the entire day.”
One resident quoted in a report on foxla.com said, “I mean, when you’re sitting outside, you just hear the screaming all throughout the day and then even into the night, so it’s pretty non-stop.” Another neighbor added that the ride and its riders’ screams “not only echoes it blasts all over the golf course and into the neighborhood. So it’s extremely disruptive.” Because, you know, what’s a little sleep deprivation when you can have the thrill of a Fast & Furious-themed roller coaster?
The Coaster Conundrum
The Fast & Furious franchise has always been about high-octane action and speed, so it’s no surprise that the roller coaster is designed to deliver on that promise. With a top speed of 72 miles per hour and three inversions, it’s no wonder the neighbors are complaining about the noise. But Universal is taking steps to mitigate the issue, with plans to construct sound walls around the high-velocity segments of the track and program the coaster vehicles to spin and face away from the Toluca Lake neighborhood during the loudest elements of the ride.
It’s a delicate balance between giving thrill-seekers the adrenaline rush they crave and not disturbing the peace and quiet of the surrounding community. But hey, as the old saying goes, “you can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs” – or in this case, disturbing a few neighborhood peace and quiet ordinances. Somewhere, an executive nodded very seriously during a meeting and declared that this was a “worthwhile trade-off for the sake of entertainment.”
The Future of Fast & Furious
Despite the noise complaints, the Fast & Furious franchise shows no signs of slowing down. With a TV series in development and a slew of merchandise opportunities on the horizon, it’s clear that Universal is committed to milking this cash cow for all it’s worth. And why not? The franchise has proven itself to be a reliable moneymaker, and the theme park attraction is just another way to cash in on the brand’s popularity.
As the Content Mines remain fully operational, churning out fresh content to feed the insatiable appetites of audiences everywhere, it’s no wonder that executives are looking to extract every last drop of value from this intellectual property. After all, as the saying goes, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” – unless, of course, you can find a way to make a sequel, prequel, or reboot, in which case, “if it ain’t broke, break it and then fix it again for maximum profit.”
In the end, it’s just another day in the world of Hollywood, where the pursuit of profit and the pursuit of artistic expression are constantly at odds. But hey, at least we’ll have our Fast & Furious roller coaster to distract us from the impending doom of yet another sequel. Because in the world of Hollywood, familiarity is always better than originality, and the Merchandising Department is always happy to approve any decision that will lead to more toys and t-shirts being sold.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
