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5 Things to Know for March 3: Iran’s Next Big Thing, Protests Everywhere, Primaries Madness, Clinton’s Legal Drama, and Nancy Guthrie’s Surprise Comeback
War With Iran Heats Up as Trump Unleashes "Big Wave" of US Action
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things to Know for March 3: Iran’s Next Big Thing, Protests Everywhere, Primaries Madness, Clinton’s Legal Drama, and Nancy Guthrie’s Surprise Comeback

Big ElephantMarch 3, 2026March 3, 2026

The Middle East is burning as Israel and the US pound Iranian targets while Iran strikes back at US allies.…

Jim Carrey’s Cesar Awards Debacle: The Real Story or Just Another Carrey Catastrophe?
Oh no, not again! Hollyweird is back at it with the ol' "Is that really Jim Carrey or just some Hollywood voodoo?" saga! 😱
Breaking, Movie News

Jim Carrey’s Cesar Awards Debacle: The Real Story or Just Another Carrey Catastrophe?

FinnMarch 2, 2026March 2, 2026

So, apparently, people lost their collective minds when Jim Carrey showed up at the César Awards looking, well, slightly less…

METALLICA: Because Las Vegas Wasn’t Loud Enough, Here Come Six More Shows to Melt Your Ears at the Sphere
Hold Onto Your Mosh Pits, Nerds: METALLICA Is Coming to Sphere, and Your Bank Account Will Never Recover
Breaking, Music News

METALLICA: Because Las Vegas Wasn’t Loud Enough, Here Come Six More Shows to Melt Your Ears at the Sphere

Chord F. DiscordMarch 2, 2026March 2, 2026

Oh look, another announcement that’s going to make every metalhead with disposable income hyperventilate. METALLICA, those delightful four horsemen of…

Hollywood Minute: ‘Sinners,’ ‘The Studio,’ and ‘The Pitt’ Cast Members Top The Actor Awards (Because Apparently We Needed Another Award Show)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Hollywood Minute: ‘Sinners,’ ‘The Studio,’ and ‘The Pitt’ Cast Members Top The Actor Awards (Because Apparently We Needed Another Award Show)

Big ElephantMarch 2, 2026March 2, 2026

Hey Hollywood snowflakes, looks like your SAG-AFTRA awards just got a new name, but the only thing changing is the…

HBO Max and Paramount+ Will Be Merged Into One Service, So You Can Finally Watch Both at the Same Time—or Not at All
Breaking, Movie News

HBO Max and Paramount+ Will Be Merged Into One Service, So You Can Finally Watch Both at the Same Time—or Not at All

FinnMarch 2, 2026March 2, 2026

Oh, great. Just what we needed — another streaming service to make us feel guilty for not watching enough TV.…

SEX PISTOLS Featuring FRANK CARTER Say “Oops, We Forgot You!” and Drop 2026 North American Tour Dates
SEX PISTOLS with Frank Carter Announce North American Comeback Tour—Because Why Not, We're All Gonna Die Anyway
Breaking, Events, Music News

SEX PISTOLS Featuring FRANK CARTER Say “Oops, We Forgot You!” and Drop 2026 North American Tour Dates

Chord F. DiscordMarch 2, 2026March 2, 2026

After a brief hiatus caused by guitarist Steve Jones’s wrist deciding it had enough of humanity, the SEX PISTOLS are…

JOHN 5 Is ‘Super Excited’ About Setlist For MÖTLEY CRÜE’s Summer 2026 Tour Because Finally He Can Play That One Song He Practiced for 8 Hours
Breaking, Music News

JOHN 5 Is ‘Super Excited’ About Setlist For MÖTLEY CRÜE’s Summer 2026 Tour Because Finally He Can Play That One Song He Practiced for 8 Hours

Chord F. DiscordMarch 2, 2026March 2, 2026

Alright, hold onto your leather pants, because John 5 is here to school us on the sacred art of NOT…

BREAKING: 59% of Americans Say “Nope” to Iran Strikes, Majority Predicts Endless War — Because Why Stop at One?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

BREAKING: 59% of Americans Say “Nope” to Iran Strikes, Majority Predicts Endless War — Because Why Stop at One?

Big ElephantMarch 2, 2026March 2, 2026

Well, well, well, looks like the fake news media is once again pushing their anti-Trump propaganda! Can you believe this…

Events

“OMG YALL READY FOR SOME TOTALLY RADICAL FANTASY FRIDAYS?! 🧙‍♂️✨”

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 2, 2026

#1 FRIDAY NIGHT IN ATLANTA OMG, it’s #1 FRIDAY NIGHT IN ATLANTA, y’all! 🎉 Prepare for the most epic, life-changing…

Events

FRIDAY FANTASIES: WHERE DREAMS AND DELUSIONS COLLIDE!

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 2, 2026

#1 FRIDAY NIGHT IN ATLANTA Join us every week at FANTASY FRIDAYS for an unforgettable night of music, dancing, and…

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Latest posts

  • LETLIVE Might Possibly Maybe Consider New Music If They Feel Like It Someday Maybe
  • Whiny Italy insults America over Trump’s truth about Meloni
  • NASCAR Celebrates Pride Month With First All-Subaru Race
  • Amazon Abruptly Cancels Movie About Sam Altman Because Let’s Be Real Who Cares About Some Guy and His AI Company Anyway
  • Gang of Dragon Still NOT Dead Because Let’s Be Real Who Needs Founders Anyway Nagoshi Studio Is Totally Fine Without Them

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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