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OBITUARY’s Corpse-Crawling Carnival 2026: Death Metal Grandpas Gallivanting & Rotting Across America
Breaking, Events, Music News

OBITUARY’s Corpse-Crawling Carnival 2026: Death Metal Grandpas Gallivanting & Rotting Across America

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 28, 2026January 28, 2026

Hold onto your grandmother’s ashes, folks, because Florida’s favorite crypt-keepers, OBITUARY, are dragging their rotting carcasses out of the swamp…

“Climate Chaos or Just Another Day in California? Let’s Ask the Next Governor!”
Events

“Climate Chaos or Just Another Day in California? Let’s Ask the Next Governor!”

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 28, 2026

🚨 Climate Crisis Debate Alert! 🚨 The top 6 polling candidates for California Governor will debate the climate crisis—except for…

Agriculture in Charlotte, NC (01/28/2026)
Videos

Agriculture in Charlotte, NC (01/28/2026)

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 28, 2026

Another Hamas supporters from California Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of…

Knoll in Charlotte, NC (01/28/2026)
Videos

Knoll in Charlotte, NC (01/28/2026)

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 28, 2026

Death metal noise from Memphis, TN Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan…

Dollhaver in Charlotte, NC (01/28/2026)
Videos

Dollhaver in Charlotte, NC (01/28/2026)

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 28, 2026

Death/Sludge Metal from Charlotte, NC Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of…

Olympic Gold Medalist Insists ‘Training Powder’ Was Strictly for Personal Best, Not Cartel Spreadsheets
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Olympic Gold Medalist Insists ‘Training Powder’ Was Strictly for Personal Best, Not Cartel Spreadsheets

Big ElephantJanuary 27, 2026January 27, 2026

Santa Ana, California (AP) – Thanks to President Trump’s MAGA-tough border policies, another woke narco-terrorist met his Waterloo this week…

Caught in 4K: Watch NAILBOMB Attempt Sonic Terrorism Against LA’s Remaining Ear Canal Population
Breaking, Music News

Caught in 4K: Watch NAILBOMB Attempt Sonic Terrorism Against LA’s Remaining Ear Canal Population

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 27, 2026January 27, 2026

Hold onto your grandma’s dentures, folks! 🦷💥 Because NAILBOMB just blew the roof off 1720 in Los Angeles with a…

Prepare for Symphonic Overkill and 100% More Pretentious Arm-Waving
Breaking, Music News

Prepare for Symphonic Overkill and 100% More Pretentious Arm-Waving

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Hold onto your taco hats, metalheads 🌮🎸 because Therion just dropped a symphonic metal album so extra, it needs TWO…

Gun Rights Folks and Lawyers Wonder If Trump Even Knows What the Second Amendment Is Anymore After Latest Shooting
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Gun Rights Folks and Lawyers Wonder If Trump Even Knows What the Second Amendment Is Anymore After Latest Shooting

Big ElephantJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

ALERT: RINOS AND DEEP STATE AGENTS IN THE FBI AND DOJ ARE TURNING ON TRUMP AND THE SECOND AMENDMENT! They’re…

Sophie Turner Slapped With a Pickaxe and Forced to Raid Tombs Because Netflix Can’t Leave Classic Video Games Alone
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Sophie Turner Slapped With a Pickaxe and Forced to Raid Tombs Because Netflix Can’t Leave Classic Video Games Alone

FinnJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Behold, mortals! Amazon has finally graced us with the first official image of Sophie Turner as Lara Croft, and folks,…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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