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Tag: Space

Giant Step Turns 35.5 and Jams Like It’s 1989 (Minus the Hair Metal)
Events

Giant Step Turns 35.5 and Jams Like It’s 1989 (Minus the Hair Metal)

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 10, 2026

Breaking: Gilles Peterson, Ron Trent, and Kassa Overall will spin your world into a kaleidoscope of jazz and beats at…

The 16 Shows We’ll Pretend to Care About in 2026
Breaking, Movie News

The 16 Shows We’ll Pretend to Care About in 2026

FinnJanuary 9, 2026January 9, 2026

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: THE TV INDUSTRY IS STILL ALIVE, AND IT’S HERE TO STEAL YOUR SOUL ONE BINGE-WATCH AT A…

The Book They Didn’t Want You to Read: Behind the Secret Genius of 2112
Breaking, Music News

The Book They Didn’t Want You to Read: Behind the Secret Genius of 2112

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 7, 2026January 7, 2026

🎸 2026: The Year When RUSH Fans Finally Get A Coffee Table Book About A 50-Year-Old Album (And It’s About…

5 Sequels That Completely Abandoned the Original Film’s Genre Like a Coward
Breaking, Movie News

5 Sequels That Completely Abandoned the Original Film’s Genre Like a Coward

FinnJanuary 7, 2026January 7, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Hollywood Discovers Sequels Are Basically Just the Same Movie, But With More Explosions (And Less Logic) 🚨 Ah,…

Going Hands-On With ROMEO IS A DEAD MAN—Death And Taxes: Because Nothing Says Fun Like Paying Your Last Bill
Breaking, Games News

Going Hands-On With ROMEO IS A DEAD MAN—Death And Taxes: Because Nothing Says Fun Like Paying Your Last Bill

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 6, 2026January 6, 2026

Move over, William Shakespeare—because Romeo isn’t just dead, he’s been cybernetically resurrected, weaponized, and shoved into a multiversal soap opera…

James Gunn’s Supergirl: Where the Only Thing Flying Higher Than Her Cape Is His Ego
Breaking, Movie News

James Gunn’s Supergirl: Where the Only Thing Flying Higher Than Her Cape Is His Ego

FinnJanuary 6, 2026January 6, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: James Gunn Just Compared Supergirl to Guardians of the Galaxy, Which Means We’re All About to Get Space…

Hollywood Minute: Kpop Demon Hunters vs Elio in the Great Animation Battle for Our Attention
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Hollywood Minute: Kpop Demon Hunters vs Elio in the Great Animation Battle for Our Attention

Big ElephantJanuary 6, 2026January 6, 2026

Leftist Cartoon Cartel Nominates ‘Kpop Demon Hunters’ to Brainwash America’s Youth While Liberals Cry About Wildfires They Caused In a…

NASA Finally Sends Astronauts to Space—Surprise!
Events

NASA Finally Sends Astronauts to Space—Surprise!

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 5, 2026

🚀 Virtual astronauts, get ready to float through cyberspace on Feb. 15, 2026, and earn a digital stamp for your…

Monsters are Coming! Rock & Road Deserves Space in Your Steam Library
Breaking, Games News

Monsters are Coming! Rock & Road Deserves Space in Your Steam Library

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 4, 2026January 4, 2026

Move Over, Grandma—The Real Survivors Are Here! Monsters Are Coming! Rock & Road Is the Only Game That Lets You…

When Eleven Becomes a Netflix Stock Tip: The Real End of Stranger Things
Breaking, Movie News

When Eleven Becomes a Netflix Stock Tip: The Real End of Stranger Things

FinnJanuary 4, 2026January 4, 2026

🚨BREAKING NEWS: ELEVEN FROM STRANGER THINGS IS *DEFINITELY* ALIVE (OR MAYBE NOT, WHO KNOWS, WE’RE ALL JUST LOST SOULS DRIFTING…

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Latest posts

  • Oh No: Band Going to Play Something From New Album
  • Democrats Hopeful Average Texas Voter Wants To Ban Steak And Thinks God Is Gay
  • BREAKING: ANTHRAX Debuts New Song ‘Its For The Kids’ Because Clearly The World Was Missing A 60 Year Old Man Screaming About Juvenile Delinquency
  • The Witcher 3 Is Getting One Last Surprise Expansion Because You Clearly Didn’t Spend Enough Hours of Your Life Playing It Already and Geralt Is Coming Back to Ruin Your Social Life Again
  • Backrooms Review: Because Who Needs Original Ideas When You Can Just Copy Paste Some Spooky Stuff and Call it a Day

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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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