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Tag: Sports

Long Island school district single-handedly saves America from Woke Sports Mascots, becomes Trump’s personal playground
Elephant Reads CNN

Long Island school district single-handedly saves America from Woke Sports Mascots, becomes Trump’s personal playground

Big ElephantAugust 18, 2025August 18, 2025

Oh, the woke mob is at it again, folks! This time, they’re coming for the Massapequa Chiefs, a Long Island…

CNN10: Woman Ruins Sports for Everyone (Again)
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN10: Woman Ruins Sports for Everyone (Again)

Big ElephantAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Fake News CNN wants you to believe Trump is meeting Putin to end the Ukraine war? Wake up, sheeple! It’s…

Manhattan Shooting: Thoughts and Prayers Edition, Cops Still Clueless
Elephant Reads CNN

Manhattan Shooting: Thoughts and Prayers Edition, Cops Still Clueless

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

Oh, the horror! Another day, another tragedy in our once-great nation. Seems like even with President Trump making America great…

METALLICA Planning To Annoy Las Vegas With Extended Residency, Sources Say
Breaking, Music News

METALLICA Planning To Annoy Las Vegas With Extended Residency, Sources Say

Chord F. DiscordJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

According to Vital Vegas, METALLICA, those geriatric thrashers, are “ready to ink a deal for a Sphere residency” in Las…

Air Dud: Golden Receiver? More Like Golden Retriever-ing This Tired Franchise From the Dog House
Breaking, Movie News

Air Dud: Golden Receiver? More Like Golden Retriever-ing This Tired Franchise From the Dog House

FinnJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

Oh, sweet suffering cinephiles, brace yourselves! 🏀🐕 The cinematic masterpiece that none of us asked for, *Air Bud Returns*, is…

Katie Taylor’s post-Serrano reflections: Women’s boxing suddenly exists, who knew
Elephant Reads CNN

Katie Taylor’s post-Serrano reflections: Women’s boxing suddenly exists, who knew

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

Oh, great, another puff piece on women’s boxing, brought to you by the same folks who think men can get…

Trump throws toddler tantrum, demands Redskins return or no stadium for crybaby Commanders
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump throws toddler tantrum, demands Redskins return or no stadium for crybaby Commanders

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2025July 20, 2025

Can you believe these woke sports teams? President Trump is stepping in to make them do what’s right, and it’s…

Rubio: From Trump Critic to Lapdog-in-Chief, a CNN Production
Elephant Reads CNN

Rubio: From Trump Critic to Lapdog-in-Chief, a CNN Production

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2025July 20, 2025

CNN is at it again, folks! They’re trying to paint Marco Rubio as some kind of foreign policy genius, but…

gamescom 2025: Prepare for Disappointment — Bigger Than Ever, Apparently
Breaking, Games News

gamescom 2025: Prepare for Disappointment — Bigger Than Ever, Apparently

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 19, 2025July 19, 2025

Oh, sweet gamers, brace yourselves! 🤪 Gamescom 2025, that annual pilgrimage to the land of overpriced energy drinks and questionable…

The Fantastic Four’s First Steps: A Glorified Photo Op at Toronto’s Illuminarium (Free Swag Not Included)
Breaking, Movie News

The Fantastic Four’s First Steps: A Glorified Photo Op at Toronto’s Illuminarium (Free Swag Not Included)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 19, 2025July 19, 2025

Alright, Marvel Zombies, brace yourselves! 🤪 Marvel Studios Canada, bless their maple-syrup-infused hearts, is throwing a “free” (as if anything’s…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

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