Swallow the Sun Bio: Now in English (ish) – Preorder Before We Change Our Minds
OMG! 😱 Prepare yourselves, metalheads, for the most groundbreaking, earth-shattering news of the century! Century Media Records is proud to…
Tag: streaming
Samsung’s Atomic Move: Melds Fallout Wasteland with Your Couch Potato Existence
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! 🤩 Samsung, in its infinite wisdom (or maybe just a desperate attempt to stay…
Netflix’s ‘Assassin’s Creed’ Finds Its Poor Soul, Set to Film in Pizza Land
Oh, great, another Assassin’s Creed adaptation! 🙄 Because the movie wasn’t a colossal dumpster fire 🔥 enough, Netflix has decided…
James Hetfield’s Gig: Proof the Bar is Six Feet Under
Attention, fellow headbangers (and those who accidentally stumbled here)! Prepare yourselves for a groundbreaking exposé hotter than Lars Ulrich’s snare…
FX Dumps Another Bag of Cash on Ubisoft for a Far Cry TV Show Starring Some Dudes You’ve Heard Of
OMG! FX is making a *Far Cry* TV show! 🤣 Prepare for cringey monologues and villains who think they’re deep…
“The Chronology of Water” Trailer: Witness Kristen Stewart Direct Imogen Poots (and Probably Overthink It)
Oh, sweet baby Jesus, another artsy-fartsy film nobody asked for! The Chronology of Water, a cinematic masterpiece (according to who,…
“Stargate: Prime Directive – Because Apparently Wormholes Weren’t Confusing Enough Already”
Amazon MGM Studios, in a move that absolutely NO ONE saw coming (🙄), has announced that they’re rebooting Stargate. Yes,…
Behold! The POWER OF 3 Supergroup (AKA Orianthi and Some Other Ladies) Shreds at Raiders-Cowboys Game
Behold! THE POWER OF 3, the earth-shattering, mind-blowing (not really) supergroup comprised of Orianthi, the guitar-slinging singer-songwriter who once brushed…
Stone Temple Pilots’ Dean DeLeo: Spotify’s Royalty Rates? More Like Highway Robbery, Am I Right
🎸 Dean DeLeo from STONE TEMPLE PILOTS (the band your dad used to blast in the minivan 🚐) is whining…
MTV UK Channels Going Bye-Bye: Because Who Even Watches TV Anymore
Oh, the horror! MTV, that bastion of leftist indoctrination, is closing five whole channels in the UK! Could it be…