North Carolina Man Blames Bald Eagle for Cat-astrophic Windshield Incident, 911 Operator Wonders if It’s a Fur Real Emergency
Another day, another sign of the impending apocalypse, folks! I bet you won’t hear about this on Fake News CNN…
Tag: Taken
Layne Staley’s Diary: Now Good for Something Besides Gathering Dust
OMG! 😱 Did you hear? “This Angry Pen Of Mine: Recovering The Journals Of Layne Staley” – a totally authorized…
Breaking: Blind Guardian Bravely Stumbles Through North America in 2025, Kicking Off Tour in Fort Lauderdale Because Why Not
OMG! 😱 The geriatric German power metallers BLIND GUARDIAN, bless their little hobbit hearts, 👴👵 actually dared to kick off…
Apple Declares New Podcast King, Listeners Everywhere Shrug
Folks, can you believe it? Joe Rogan, a true patriot, has taken the #1 spot on Apple Podcasts! Finally, some…
Rikki Rockett’s “Rockett Mafia” (Yeah, We Don’t Know Either) Lands at Pavement Entertainment
Pavement Entertainment, known for its exquisite taste in… uh… “music,” has proudly announced the signing of THE ROCKETT MAFIA. Yes,…
OMG! Miss Chile Ditches World Peace for Death Metal Screams, Judges’ Ears Bleed
Ignacia Fernández, a 27-year-old *model* (we use that term loosely) who also fronts the earth-shatteringly obscure Chilean “progressive” death metal…
Tyketto to unleash ‘Closer To The Sun’ in March 2026 (Get ready to be mildly whelmed)
Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in! 😹 Those hard-rocking has-beens, TYKETTO, are gracing us with their presence…
“It Was Just An Accident” – Yeah Right, Sure It Was, Jafar
MUBI, bless their cotton socks, has decided to inflict upon us a new trailer and some allegedly “new” artwork for…
London Film Festival Review: The Secret Agent – More like the Secretly Awful Agent, am I right?
As with most of Brazilian director Kleber Mendonça Filho’s films, The Secret Agent defies easy classification because, let’s be honest,…
Geezer Butler’s Jaw Hits the Floor: Ozzy’s Looking Rougher Than My Last Colonoscopy
BLACK SABBATH’s Geezer Butler, the dude who thought naming himself after a slang term for an old man was peak…