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Syrias Disappeared Still Waiting For Justice Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Syrias Disappeared Still Waiting For Justice Apparently

Big ElephantJune 26, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the most heart-wrenching story on CNN – a daughter’s fight for justice…

Million Plus Immigrants Freaking Out Thanks To Supreme Court
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Million Plus Immigrants Freaking Out Thanks To Supreme Court

Big ElephantJune 26, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Supreme Court just made a decision that’s going to affect…

Oh great now ships are sneaking through Hormuz
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oh great now ships are sneaking through Hormuz

Big ElephantJune 26, 2026

Folks, I just about spit out my coffee reading about the latest developments in the Strait of Hormuz. It seems…

Texas Wants Kids to Trade Textbooks for Testaments Now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Wants Kids to Trade Textbooks for Testaments Now

Big ElephantJune 26, 2026

Texas is about to make some big changes to its public school curriculum, folks, and I’m not sure if I…

You Won’t Believe What Just Happened to Hawaii’s Gun Laws
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You Won’t Believe What Just Happened to Hawaii’s Gun Laws

Big ElephantJune 25, 2026June 25, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and trying to wrap my head around this latest Supreme Court ruling. The Supreme Court…

SKILLET To Finally Release Something New Because You’ve All Been Clamoring For More Of The Same Old Stuff In July; ‘Comatose: 20 Years, Still Screaming Tour’ To Launch This Fall Because They Still Can’t Sell Out A Decent Venue
Breaking, Music News

SKILLET To Finally Release Something New Because You’ve All Been Clamoring For More Of The Same Old Stuff In July; ‘Comatose: 20 Years, Still Screaming Tour’ To Launch This Fall Because They Still Can’t Sell Out A Decent Venue

Chord F. DiscordJune 22, 2026June 22, 2026

Get ready to scream, folks! πŸŽΈπŸ”Š Christian rockers SKILLET have just announced their explosive new single, “Scream”, and it’s about…

Liberal LA Mayor declares emergency over minor warehouse fire obviously
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal LA Mayor declares emergency over minor warehouse fire obviously

Big ElephantJune 21, 2026June 21, 2026

Oh, great, another bunch of fake news outlets spewing their liberal propaganda, trying to undermine the greatness of our beloved…

Spider-Man: Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough of His Angsty Teenage Drama Now He’s Got a Fancy New Mutation to Go with His Ego
Get ready for the most epic Spider-Man movie ever! πŸŽ₯πŸ•ΈοΈ
Breaking, Movie News

Spider-Man: Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough of His Angsty Teenage Drama Now He’s Got a Fancy New Mutation to Go with His Ego

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 17, 2026June 17, 2026

Since the release of the first Spider-Man: Brand New Day trailer, fans have been wondering how dark it gets for…

Because Clearly What The Switch Was Missing Was More Boobs And Blood To Make It A Legitimate Gaming Console
The Dispatch Drama: A Tale of Censorship, Boobs, and Butts 🀣
Breaking, Games News

Because Clearly What The Switch Was Missing Was More Boobs And Blood To Make It A Legitimate Gaming Console

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 17, 2026June 17, 2026

The fans of the super-powered office comedy Dispatch were left feeling like they’d been #censored πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ when they found out…

Steam Gift Cards Are Getting Murdered By Scammers Because Who Needs Actual Cash Anyway
Breaking, Games News

Steam Gift Cards Are Getting Murdered By Scammers Because Who Needs Actual Cash Anyway

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 10, 2026June 10, 2026

Oh no, the scammers are coming! πŸš¨πŸ’Έ Valve is killing off physical Steam gift cards because, apparently, some people are…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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