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Tag: Taken

‘Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory’ Is a Secret Massacre Movie That Will Make You Question Your Childhood
Why Willy Wonka Is Secretly a Slasher Movie
Breaking, Movie News

‘Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory’ Is a Secret Massacre Movie That Will Make You Question Your Childhood

FinnMarch 12, 2026March 12, 2026

If I wanted to torture my brother when we were kids, I only needed to say two words: “Blueberry Girl.”…

FBI Recruits Superheroes to Find Missing Retired Air Force General Who’s Been AWOL for Two Weeks Now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

FBI Recruits Superheroes to Find Missing Retired Air Force General Who’s Been AWOL for Two Weeks Now

Big ElephantMarch 11, 2026March 11, 2026

Former Air Force UFO Guru Mysteriously Vanishes – Is the Deep State Covering Something Up? In what can only be…

American McGee Is Continuing the Alice Story Without EA’s IP, Because Who Needs Legal Rights Anyway?
EA Is Crying In The Corner While American McGee Does The Impossible
Breaking, Games News

American McGee Is Continuing the Alice Story Without EA’s IP, Because Who Needs Legal Rights Anyway?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 9, 2026March 9, 2026

When life gives you intellectual property rights, make a loophole! American McGee, the mastermind behind the cult-classic *Alice* games, has…

Historic price shock: Oil surges above $100 — Time to sell your kidneys for gas money?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Historic price shock: Oil surges above $100 — Time to sell your kidneys for gas money?

Big ElephantMarch 9, 2026March 9, 2026

Breaking: Oil Prices Skyrocket to $100+ as Trump’s Iran War Goes Exactly as Planned Holy crap, folks! Oil prices just…

Kouri Richins’ Murder Trial: The Cliff Notes Version of a Trainwreck Divorce with a Side of Scandal and Debt!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Kouri Richins’ Murder Trial: The Cliff Notes Version of a Trainwreck Divorce with a Side of Scandal and Debt!

Big ElephantMarch 8, 2026March 8, 2026

Democrats’ Latest Scandal: Liberal Mom Poisons Husband for Fentanyl-Fueled Affair In a shocking display of liberal depravity, a Utah mother…

SEVENDUST Unleashes Unbreakable Music Video Because Nothing Says Fragile Like a Title Named ‘Unbreakable’
SEVENDUST is back with "Unbreakable," because apparently the only thing more indestructible than their career is their ability to release albums on a schedule even NASA would envy
Breaking, Music News

SEVENDUST Unleashes Unbreakable Music Video Because Nothing Says Fragile Like a Title Named ‘Unbreakable’

Chord F. DiscordMarch 5, 2026March 5, 2026

The official music video for “Unbreakable,” the latest single from SEVENDUST, can be seen below. The track is taken from…

Buttigieg: ‘unacceptable’ that Americans are stranded in the Middle East, Probably Should’ve Taken the Train Instead
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Buttigieg: ‘unacceptable’ that Americans are stranded in the Middle East, Probably Should’ve Taken the Train Instead

Big ElephantMarch 3, 2026March 3, 2026

Breaking: Democrats Suddenly Become War Heroes While America Prepares for Glorious Victory Over Iran! Oh look, it’s another Democrat suddenly…

Father of Georgia School Shooter Found Guilty of Being a Real-Life Villain in the Most Dramatic Family Feud Ever
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Father of Georgia School Shooter Found Guilty of Being a Real-Life Villain in the Most Dramatic Family Feud Ever

Big ElephantMarch 3, 2026March 3, 2026

Finally, Some Justice! Georgia School Shooter’s Dad Convicted of Murder In a massive win for law and order, Colin Gray,…

Open World Games So Epic, They’ll Make You Forget You Have a Job in 2026
2026: The Year You Forget Grand Theft Auto 6 Exists (Almost)
Breaking, Games News

Open World Games So Epic, They’ll Make You Forget You Have a Job in 2026

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 25, 2026February 25, 2026

We all know that on November 19th, the internet will likely break under the weight of Rockstar’s return to Vice…

Events

2026 Virtual Photo Beach Bash: Where Sand Is Optional and Your WiFi Is the Only Wave

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 23, 2026

Attention Photography Enthusiasts! Prepare for the Zoom-iest Event of the Year! 📸✨ The Coastal Camera Club proudly presents their 6th…

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Latest posts

  • Piani industriali per il sociale aka come spendere soldi per sembrare buoni
  • Hulp ik heb mijn libido kwijt tijd voor een noodexperiment
  • Lea Michele Shows Off Ability To Make Co-Star Cry On Command
  • Fake news saying Trump can’t spin Iran deal as huge win somehow
  • Vance blasts Iran deal with rightful American skepticism and distrust always

Editorial
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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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