Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Taken

PlayStation Now Requires You to Beg for Permission to Play Your Own Games Every 30 Days Because Sony Loves You and Wants to Make Sure You’re Not Having Too Much Fun
Breaking News: PlayStation 4 and 5 Games Require 30-Day DRM Online License Check, Because Who Needs Ownership Anyway? 🎮😒
Breaking, Games News

PlayStation Now Requires You to Beg for Permission to Play Your Own Games Every 30 Days Because Sony Loves You and Wants to Make Sure You’re Not Having Too Much Fun

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, it has been revealed that since the March 2026 update, PlayStation 4 and 5…

ICE NINE KILLS Frontman SPENCER CHARNAS: Touring With METALLICA Was The Most Basic Thing I’ve Ever Done And I’m Still Trying To Figure Out Why Anyone Cares
Breaking, Music News

ICE NINE KILLS Frontman SPENCER CHARNAS: Touring With METALLICA Was The Most Basic Thing I’ve Ever Done And I’m Still Trying To Figure Out Why Anyone Cares

Chord F. DiscordApril 26, 2026April 26, 2026

The article begins with a new interview with Meltdown of Detroit’s WRIF radio station, where Spencer Charnas, the frontman of…

Deep State protects their own again somehow what a shock
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Deep State protects their own again somehow what a shock

Big ElephantApril 24, 2026April 24, 2026

It’s absolutely hilarious to see the liberal snowflakes still whining about President Trump’s incredible accomplishments, even as he’s still leading…

Breaking News: Adult Still Watching Cartoons Gets Busted for Leaking Sweet sweet Avatar Action
Breaking, Movie News

Breaking News: Adult Still Watching Cartoons Gets Busted for Leaking Sweet sweet Avatar Action

FinnApril 24, 2026April 24, 2026

A man in Singapore has been arrested for leaking the upcoming animated movie The Legend of Aang: The Last Airbender…

Pokémon TCG Pocket Just Got a Whole Lot More Obnoxiously Overpowered With the Most Insane Strong Mega Evolutions That Will Totally Ruin the Game for Everyone Else
Breaking, Games News

Pokémon TCG Pocket Just Got a Whole Lot More Obnoxiously Overpowered With the Most Insane Strong Mega Evolutions That Will Totally Ruin the Game for Everyone Else

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 23, 2026April 23, 2026

The Pokémon Company has finally decided to bless us with another expansion to the Pokémon TCG Pocket card database, because…

HEATHEN Unleashes a Mind Blowing Earth Shattering Life Changing Cover of Some Obscure Song from the 90s Called Twist Of Faith That You Probably Never Heard Of Anyway
Breaking, Music News

HEATHEN Unleashes a Mind Blowing Earth Shattering Life Changing Cover of Some Obscure Song from the 90s Called Twist Of Faith That You Probably Never Heard Of Anyway

Chord F. DiscordApril 23, 2026April 23, 2026

San Francisco Bay Area thrash metal veterans HEATHEN have released another deep-dive cover of their members’ musical history to celebrate…

GODSMACK Desperately Scours Craigslist And Finds Some Dudes Named SAM KOLTUN And WADE MURFF To Carry Their Gear On 2026 Tour
Breaking News: Godsmack's Sully Erna Spills the Tea on the Band's New Era 🍵🎸
Breaking, Music News

GODSMACK Desperately Scours Craigslist And Finds Some Dudes Named SAM KOLTUN And WADE MURFF To Carry Their Gear On 2026 Tour

Chord F. DiscordApril 11, 2026April 11, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Godsmack’s frontman Sully Erna sat down with TalkShopLive’s The Rock N Roll Channel to…

Get Ready for the Most Soul-Crushing Existential Crisis of Your Life with Prove You’re Human, the Latest Masterpiece from the Clearly Not Alien Overlords Behind 1000xResist
Get ready for the most epic game of the century: Prove You're Human! 🚀💻
Breaking, Games News

Get Ready for the Most Soul-Crushing Existential Crisis of Your Life with Prove You’re Human, the Latest Masterpiece from the Clearly Not Alien Overlords Behind 1000xResist

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 9, 2026April 9, 2026

In a world where AI has taken over, one game dares to ask the question: what does it mean to…

The Boys Season 4 Finale Almost Got Canceled Because Apparently Some People Cant Handle Watching Fictional Versions of Influential People Getting Blown Up
Breaking, Movie News

The Boys Season 4 Finale Almost Got Canceled Because Apparently Some People Cant Handle Watching Fictional Versions of Influential People Getting Blown Up

FinnApril 7, 2026April 7, 2026

The Boys Season 4 finale was almost cancelled due to a real-life assassination attempt on President Donald Trump, because who…

UDO DIRKSCHNEIDER Literally Begs You to Film His Entire Show on Your Phone So He Can Finally Get Some Decent Footage for His Next Concert DVD
Breaking, Music News

UDO DIRKSCHNEIDER Literally Begs You to Film His Entire Show on Your Phone So He Can Finally Get Some Decent Footage for His Next Concert DVD

Chord F. DiscordApril 1, 2026April 1, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture! The metal gods have spoken, and they’re sick of your phone-taking, video-recording, utterly-absent-from-the-moment nonsense 🤦‍♂️! In…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 4 … 11 Next

Latest posts

  • Amazon Abruptly Cancels Movie About Sam Altman Because Let’s Be Real Who Cares About Some Guy and His AI Company Anyway
  • Gang of Dragon Still NOT Dead Because Let’s Be Real Who Needs Founders Anyway Nagoshi Studio Is Totally Fine Without Them
  • Breaking News: Fallout Season 3 Just Became 1000% More Interesting Because They Added Some Guy from That One Show Your Nephew Watches Manny Jacinto
  • BEARTOOTH Finally Decides to Release Actual Bulls*** From Their Super Original and Not at All Overhyped ‘Pure Ecstasy’ Album That Will Definitely Change the Face of Music Forever
  • SKUNK ANANSIE Still Trying to be Relevant Releases Super Original Not at All a Cry for Help New Take On ‘Meltdown’ With ‘Blackhill Remix’ That You’ll Definitely Listen to More Than Once

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}